Boris in Brexit Art Project shocker

Boris' days may be numbered, but credit where it's due: He knew that Brexit was a cartoon art project long before anyone else.

Let's recap. After being sacked from the Wolverhampton Express & Star for fabricating quotes from his godfather Colin Lucas, a historian, about Edward II's supposed lover, he used family connections to get a really low-grade Telegraph posting to Brussels.

As Nigel Wade, the paper’s foreign editor from 1986 to 1996 put it “Nobody cared about Brussels,” he said, recalling the city as a source of “important but dull stories”.

Boris the unreliable reporter was at home there, happily troughing-up stories about bananas and vacuum cleaners, just for the laughs.

Impressionable little Nige Farage believed the stories, of course, as did the readership of many tabloids.

A pinnacle of misinformation would be Boris' story about blowing up the EU headquarters, to replace it with the tallest headquarters building in Europe.

Johnson did not invent British Eurosceptic reporting but took it to new heights. The deliberate lies and half-truths delivered him the profile and publicity that he craved.

The same could be said of his private life, which he'd dismiss with iconoclastic bluster: “I have not had an affair with Petronella. It is complete balderdash. It is an inverted pyramid of piffle.” Watch for the exaggerated arm waving as another 'tell'.

It makes it all the more difficult to read the buffoon now that he has blagged a leadership position. As a useless duffer, he can be easily operated by those around him. Moneyed trousers and screwball strategists are having an elaborate laugh whilst using the grim-faced man for whom time stood still as a decoy, complete with his trite grammar advice.

The game plan to make UK into a tax haven, offshore from Europe, with a devalued currency making foreign acquisitions of UK companies heavily discounted, is running.

Liz Truss and Sajid Javid are now unsuspecting accomplices in the establishment of free-trade zones. Our man with no background, Dominic Cummings, has dialled up to 11 on the grand scheme. A couple of hundred million of newspeak funding should help things move along.

The GBP has already gone from around USD1.60 to USD1.22 - which represents a 25%-33% discount since the referendum. The damped effect of the economy makes the impact of this less obvious, but all those 'Just get it done' folk will wake up one day to find themselves dramatically pickpocketed. The Armageddon Clock is ticking, as illustrated by the unnecessarily smug tory chairman James Cleverly.

The situation leaves many questions unanswered. Who lied about the savings to the UK? Who donated dark funds to the campaigns? Who funded the misinformation? Which state actors were involved in the deceptions? Who ran targeted interference on social media? Who has covered up that the referendum was advisory?

I pulled this one from the bonfire of the House of Commons library.

Britain has been sold off by the right and its hired guns. Audi man had better get used to a smaller car. The big levers have been selected. Boris doesn't realise he is positioned as a means to an end - on the trapdoor (#existentialthreat).

#revoke #rebuild #remain

Countess Wear paper mill #topsham #devon

There's several routes that run along from Topsham towards Exeter. I usually cycle along the Exeter Canal tow-path that ambles into Exeter, towards the bustling quay, past a helpful pub and through a riverside park. It means I can bypass the busy Countess Wear roundabout and avoid the main route's traffic-laden hills.

Countess Wear is locally quite famous. The estate stopped the ships from passing on to Exeter thus making Topsham a busy port, at least until the canal was built to bypass the weir. The Countess Wear area also became the site of mills, originally used for grinding corn, later switching to making paper from rags.

It's this latter activity for which I've snapped a few pictures on my iPhone, from a 150-year-old model, built by an apprentice (or more than one?) working at the mills.

The papermills were operational between 1638 and 1885 and were used to make paper for banknotes, although it is believed that there were probably earlier medieval mills on the site. The Countess Wear Paper Mill is sited on an island formed from the division of a leat off the River Exe and surrounded by controlled water. The paper mill was once at the heart of Exeter’s industrial revolution.

Paper was first made in Exeter in 1638 and by the end of the 18th century, Exeter had 30 of the country’s 425 papermills, mostly concentrated in mills around Countess Wear.

Linen rags were imported from Holland, which were sorted and allowed to ferment. The rotten rags were laid in troughs of water and hammers powered by waterwheels turned the rags into pulp. A vatman would then form a sheet of paper from a mold. This was then raised and dried slowly allowing the fibres of the pulp to form a matted layer.

When paper began to be made from woodpulp, rather than rags, business declined. The mill converted to steam-power, but the large volumes of coal required just added to the financial problems.

At one time the mill complex covered more than two hectares, but now there are only a few buildings left. A fire destroyed the original mill, which was rebuilt in 1816.

The elaborate model, with its delightful vignettes, is at a scale of 6ft to 1 inch (1/72nd scale) and on display at Topsham Museum.

low, low, how low can you go? yo!

Boris has been gardening again, still looking for those magic money trees. More precisely, Dominic Cummings has his eyes on the prize.

He knows that the £26 billion contingency set aside by Philip Hammond and the £39 billion allocated to pay off the EU will, together, represent a huge PSF (Promises Slush Fund). The trick will be to spend it without getting spotted. Here's a quick review of the disparate items.

Curiously enough, the bits and pieces add up to around the £39 billion in the EU repayment fund. I'm pretty sure the UK will have to pay that money anyway in order to coin-operate the next round of negotiations, so the grand total could look like around £78 billion, if everything gets taken into account. And that is before the Outsourcers and the consulatants operate their 'land and expand' strategies into the government.

It also begs the question whether the original sums were pegged to the original day's exchange rate? (Of course they were) If so, then the payment to the EU is probably about 8% higher by now. £42 million...don't panic...although here comes the Vogon constructor fleet.

Which reminds me to always bring a towel. Scapegoat Gove and scoundrel-puppet Johnson are forcing the markets down, with a new low just being reached in time for the school holiday spending money.

Here comes the towel bit..., whilst it is relevant to summer holiday plans, more fundamentally it takes away value from the economy. No wonder Trump wants a deal with the UK. Every dollar buys ever more stuff. And look at the wreckage that the current government have done over the last few years.

Trashing the economy and getting a free hand in leader placement, citing the will of the people. Jolly japes, eh? I need to listen to some spaceship engine sounds to calm down.

crimethink the narrowing fight

It has started, the tweaks to the Civil Service manners of writing (Rees-Mogg), the full bore Gove propaganda through the gov.uk website and the planned £100 million household campaign from Boris. Tee-shirted Dominic Cummings must be very pleased with himself coddled in his personal bunker in Number 10.
Like Newspeak, we see the elimination of shades of meaning inherent to providing ambiguity and nuance within Standard English (Oldspeak) in order to reduce the language's function of communication. Using social media and magnate-controlled news outlets, we get simplistic concepts of simple construction — pleasure and pain, happiness and sadness, goodthink and crimethink.

Cummings and Gove know these approaches linguistically reinforce a State's totalitarian dominance of its people. As warnings, seldom have the covers of The Economist and Private Eye been so interchangeable.

In Newspeak, root words function as nouns and verbs, which reduced the vocabulary available for the speaker to communicate meaning; for example, 'think' is both a noun and a verb so that the word 'thought' is not functionally required to communicate the concepts of thought in Newspeak; hence, the English word 'thought' is not in the Newspeak vocabulary.

As personal communication, Newspeak can be spoken in staccato rhythm, using short-syllable words that are easy to pronounce and dare I* say tweet, which generates speech that is physically automatic and intellectually unconscious, thereby diminishing the possibility of critical thought occurring to the speaker.

For some it is seductive; English words of comparative and superlative meanings and irregular spellings are simplified into the regular spellings of Newspeak so that better becomes gooder and best becomes goodest.

The prefixes plus- and doubleplus- are used for emphasis, creating plusgood and the superlative doubleplusgood. Adjectives are formed by adding the suffix –ful to a root-word, so that goodthinkful means "Orthodox in thought."

Adverbs are formed by simplistically adding the suffix –wise, creating goodthinkwise, meaning "In an orthodox manner".

So we must prepare for the onslaught. I was shocked to read Gove from the Gov.uk website today. A formal position paper bylined by Gove, bullet pointed by Cummings and drafted by a marketeer copy writer? An example: "With a new prime minister, a new government, and a new clarity of mission, we will exit the EU on October 31. No ifs. No buts. No more delay. Brexit is happening." Propaganda?

Curiously, the Clown has distanced himself from Gove's officious bully posturing. Cummings knows his stuff about projects. Step 1 : select scapegoat.

* Yes, I know that 'I' has been removed from the style guide by the Moggster

blue herring?

Of course he is a comic-book character. The problem is he is a dangerous one. Let's recap. He started out as a sloppy journalist, making up news about the EU from his well-paid office. He routinely invented things that were a little bit suspect and enjoyed inserting them into the mainstream media. One could accuse him of being a leading portrayer of fake news, right back at the start of his ascent.

He played everything for laughs back then and was seen as a clown rather than dangerous. Maybe young Nigel was also swayed by the arguments placed by Boris, in the Max Hastings orchestrated press.

The latest examples are typical. Much exaggerated arm-waving, and a downright lie about kipper packaging. EU-Rules. No. UK rules, actually. Where are your support staff, by the way? Boris can blither on, but this is typical of the type of errors he will go on to make as a Prime Minister, prancing whilst preening his own ego.

Has someone told him to follow up his bus act with a (u)kipper incident, once more to fool the search engines? Red bus, Red Herring?

Would that it were so simple.

The man is useless, a liar, erratic, and won't solve anything.

lie big

The latest Big Lie has almost been accomplished. It's routinely uttered and is something to do with democracy and the will of the people.

"The essential English leadership secret does not depend on particular intelligence. Rather, it depends on a remarkably stupid thick-headedness. The English follow the principle that when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous."*

Processions of politicians come on to the television and use normalising sound bites about the will of the people, whilst they talk about proroguing Parliament to get Brexit 'across the line'. They're using accessible sporting metaphors to make it sound more like an inconvenient tussle, rather than something that can create vast economic spoilage. Observe the British Pound's trajectory. First, News of Brexit and then subsequent interminable bickering has seen it slide ever south.

Trade and pensions dilution, anyone?


The entirely ego-powered Boris has no plan; he's shown that he learns repeatable sound bites and unerringly trots them out, with much-exaggerated arm-waving. GATT Article XXIV Paragraph 5b? or 5c? blah blah blah- "In London we had special bicycles." No, someone has Stabilo-marked Boris a quick-read version of GATT. (5a covers customs union and 5b covers free-trade, 5c covers making a plan)

And there's the detail: Liam Fox, the U.K. trade secretary and a Brexiteer, rejected the GATT approach. Bank of England Governor Mark Carney has repeatedly said Article XXIV only applies if two trading partners have already agreed to a trade deal. The EU has repeatedly said that it won’t engage in mini-deals if the withdrawal agreement isn’t ratified, meaning tariffs would be imposed as well as border checks. WTO Director-General Roberto Azevedo in May said there must be a bilateral agreement between the EU and U.K. in order to claim an implementation period under GATT Article 24.

I'm forgetting, no one listens to the B-side when the A-side has a blond rock-god on it.
The clubby Tory leadership votes are mostly in with around 75% of the elite voting for the plucky charlatan. The elephant-clown puppet has no plan and will bluster his way through to economic destruction by Halloween.

Meanwhile, the other lot are pitifully squabbling in public, with the detached ego of a playpenning Corbyn wrangled by his inner crew, whilst being abhorred by others high in the party. They are busy with their self-generated distractionary topic preventing locked horns on the main business.

* from die große Lüge

the blue light was my baby and the red light was my mind

I watched the whiffle-whaffle debate last night, with its arm waving prime-minister-in-waiting. The 'Boris plan' is working even despite the minimal input from Boris himself. For example, during the TV debate Jeremy Hunt did a good audition for the role of Brexit negotiator, illustrating a grasp of detail that Boris could only bluster.

Boris doesn't need to bother with this stuff though, he's a wind-up Colleger, set to rally the Oppidans to his vote.

Irrelevant posturing, some might say, because the excited Tory sheep have already cast their votes and look to the distraction of a 50 minute debate with adverts simply for confirmation.

Don't confuse us with the facts, as Gove has echoed numerous times.

We can all see that Team Boris is already lining up stooges and throwing the inconvenient under that tainted red bus.

Sadly the self-absorbed leader of the opposition and his soviet quartet continue to play-pen his lack-lustre involvement. The train has left the station.

darrocham's razor? aka U can't touch this

I just don't understand.

Allegedly, Isabel Oakeshott leaks the confidential Ambassador diptel papers to the press instead of telling the FCO what she had unearthed. There's an outrage and an investigation set up. Trump's character has been impugned, but almost the next thing he does is behave boorishly in line with Darroch's profiling.

Noticably, no-one reading Darroch's assessment disagrees, nor rushes to Trump's aid.

No questions are asked about Oakeshott's role in this, or where she obtained the papers, or why she showed them to Farage before leaking them. Curiously, they are a mix of a two-year-old set, plus some from 8-10 days ago. Someone sneaky has been hoarding and filing systematically. Could it be dark money running a politician, a conniver, or someone slighted?

There's also no questions about Official Secrets Act being raised and no men in raincoats turning up at the Mail on Sunday.

Oakeshott is an activist friend of Leave, Arron Banks and Lord Ashcroft, amply illustrated in this recent Times diagram (although it leaves off a few other folk like Boris Johnson and Steve Bannon) - Oakeshott has anyway denied that the leak comes from anyone on the chart.

The Leave brigade sees merit in Farage influence in the USA. Trump wants someone toadying that he can control. Farage is already eyeing up the expenses.

I expect the FCO will ignore the witterings of the so-called President, and keep Kim Darroch in role until the end of his term , which is December 2019.

That would be inconvenient for latent PM Boris, who wants to replace the US ambassador with someone more politically controllable and without the memory of Borisgaffes. Part II of the stealthy plan might be to force Darroch to resign.

We, and those investigating, must ask who has most to gain from such a strategically timed and anonymous leak? Constructive ambiguity meets plausible deniability.

Meanwhile, the untouchable Brexiteers continue a-singin' and a-dancin' to MC Hammer.

whacky races

So there's going to be an enquiry into the US Ambassador leak? A kick into the long daisy-flecked grass springs to mind.

The Civil Service is getting blamed for the leak, although I can't help wonder about the Foreign Secretaries and their close ensembles, who would also be party to this information?

With the right level of self-interest, I wonder if it is possible that the team operating the sausage machine of one of the leadership players might have leaked this? Like *ahem* leaking the Gove cocaine story?

Let's follow the blotchy dots. It was apparently Isabel Oakeshott who received the well-timed information containing the leak, or kompromat, as some might term it. A frequent panel show guest and selective "journalist", she's got activist links to Leave donor Aaron Banks (under NCA investigation?) and is apparently paid by Belize-based tax-exile and Leave champion Lord Ashcroft, who is currently enjoying the Russian waters around Novorossiysk from the 50m yacht Lady M II, conveniently moored next to a few proper Russian yachts. Murky waters run deep.

Surely Nigel can't be far away from this crowd?

Curiously, Mr Hunt has denied his support for the ambassador's statements. On this occasion, it seems to de-implicate him.

Mr Johnson is a self-confessed user of constructive ambiguity so, conversely, he might just be reviewing the farrago of options for a political appointee to replace Sir Kim Darroch, further diluting truth to power.

Cycling through the Greater Exeter Strategic Plan

I've just been reading the Greater Exeter Strategic Plan(GESP), which sets out the developmental objectives for the city over the next ten years and beyond. Living close to Topsham means that I get great access to both a city and a river-quayed town within about 20 minutes one way and ten minutes the other way.

I estimate these times based upon a bike ride. The car driving time is about the same, given that I'll need to park and then walk into the centre. There's also the number 57 bus, which will drop me conveniently at either location, although with an average waiting time of 7 minutes it is a slightly longer journey time. Cost wise, the car parking is the most expensive - typically about £5 per session. Then the bus fare (£4.20 - Dayrider) and then cycling.

The GESP has also published several other documents, which together build a picture of the evolving infrastructure of the area. They include the cycle infrastructure, which makes for interesting reading. Compared with London (aside from the showpieces, such as around Parliament), it is evident that Devon has just got on with it, building cycle paths and painting cycles onto the roads/pavements to signpost a route.

We are fortunate to have Sustrans National Cycle Route 2 go past the end of our road and, within a few hundred metres in either direction, it turns into a dedicated cycle route, with no traffic. This is clearly an exception to the more general ad-hoc nature around the area.

The route also follows the river, so we don't get the hills going into and out of Exeter, instead a gentle pedal to the Quayside with its convenient hostelries. Cross the busy bridge on the cycle path and then we're on the south/west side with a dedicated track along the river all the way through to Dawlish (yes, there are pubs). By comparison, Sustrans illustrates the busy-ness of the commuter road routes:

And Garmin/Strada shows the simplicity of the flat, off-roads, cycle route.

There's even a choice of routes, all along attractive canalside, eventually meandering to the quay. I think Garmin's elevation mapping gives an indication of the two bridges one crosses on this route into the city.

It is good to see the considerations of 'Propensity to cycle' fitting in to the GESP plans. Draw a 20 minute cycle ring around central Exeter. That's about 5 km (ignoring hills). Then look at cycling options, now and future, with some creative road junction design and build it into the plans.

What about the road junctions? That's another part of the planning. I still dismount and walk over the big crossings. The GESP illustrates that it is possible to examine the big junctions during redevelopment and adapt them for multi-modal transport. It is a far less expensive than the schemes for car user adjustments (take the A14 Black Cat Roundabout at an implausibly high £1.5 Billion as an example).

So I'm going to conclude that this planning is good and sensible, pragmatic and future facing. It'll no doubt have resistance along the way: "How dare they cut off my right turn to the car park - its added minutes to my journey!" and pressure groups to prevent the housing developments and other forms of growth in the area.

But for this rather local matter, I'd rather be facing an optimistic growth cycle, than wobbling into a pessimistic abyss.

Stranger Things at the Starcourt Mall

Stranger Things 3 gives more Saturday morning picture show flashback moments as we watch the residents of Hawkins, Indiana grappling with things in the woods and hideous monster attacks.

You can just sense that aerial scene of a bleak dark forest can only mean one thing. Trouble in them-there woods. In the last series we had to get to grips with the Upside Down // whoa // parallel universe of mind-flaying gloom and just when we all thought it was safe to come back into the sunlight some mad scientists start drilling again.

It's all set in the 1980s so we get a vintage vibe to the titling, the clothes, the music and even the special effects. To be honest, there are more 'look away' moments in the new series and, I suspect, a higher body count.

Despite the menace, we are still all having fun in new-style shopping malls (destroying the core town of Hawkins) and Scooby-Doo style knockabout adventures, although the series production team must have had a challenge keeping so many zany characters looping through the scenes without running into one another or sharing knowledge.

There's so many classic tropes included too - everything from team bonding, girls go shopping, swooning over the lifeguard, crummy product placement, shootout in the burning building. And in the mall, I was secretly looking out for Sam Goody (yes) and Sbarro (didn't spot one). The mall movie playing? Back to the Future I, of course.

That's part of the success of this series, I suppose. It does what you want it to, rolling towards its next spot of mayhem. Headlights in the distance? Engine revving? That'll be trouble. Down the stairs into the sputteringly lit basement? Don't look! Pipe organs at the sun-drenched funfair? Dial up the menace.

Here's the advert for the Starcourt Mall, complete with VHS jitter.