rashbre central: renege renege

Monday 7 September 2020

renege renege

I know, jolly japes, let's renege on our original decision to remove the Customs border with Ireland. 

We can use the theatrics of it all to annoy that Mr Barnier too, so much that we can blame him for when we decide to smash out of the EU instead of negotiating a deal. We'll have to keep it from Parliament, use the wife of Slippy Teflon to leak it to the press "*What they don't know won't kill them." It has always been the plan, after all.

It'll be a whole lot easier to crash out and means that the appalling homework by David Davis and the other ugly ducklings will never see the light of day. 

Now we'll need a few useful charlatastic phrases for whilst we are turning the UK into a banking casino and tax haven for the privileged. Let's see now, FreePorts - that rings a bell. We can spread them around - Liverpool, Bristol, somewhere near Sunderland, and maybe a couple near Boris Island where we were going to put that original third runway. 

We can say we have levelled up, and that the red wall is now the blue wall. Something trite about fishing limits too. I'll get the new Party Bingo cards printed.

Some of my chums might have to extend their pockets to take all the money this could generate, but I think our Leader of the House of Commons probably knows a few long-winded and arcane wheezes to squirrel the money away, probably off-shore, come to think of it.

Still, I'm out of it in six months and The Dom will have to find a new covert threat.  Once I've a safe place in history, I'll hand the whole shebang to Rishi. He'll know how to print past the £2 Trillion of government debt. 

Forget doubles all round, it's not even triples, oh no, quads all around. "*Quad nesciunt eos non interficiet," as Rollo Biffkins used to say.

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