1) He'll get away with the £12 billion NI increase (£230m million a week) to support NHS and care services. Those red and white spray cans have been well and truly hidden.
2) Through schoolboy skulduggery, the mysterious redecoration payments for his flat and other alleged misdemeanours will be trivialised, dodged, and then forgotten. And as I write this, the parliamentary commissioner for standards has announced he will be 'spared' an investigation into his controversial refurbishment.
3)The parties at Downing Street illustrate that an investigation to identify spoken truths may be simpler than one to find falsehoods.
4) He'll draft a a new egotistical project in the back of his Best Book called the Great Exhibition 2, or similar. Aside from being a cunning way to wash incoming donations, it can get an accidental Boris' branding (eg The Boris Bash).
5) The extra Bank Holiday and the raucous festivities associated with the renamed Brexit Day will be enough to swamp Labour and other party messaging ahead of an election.
6) The loss of the financial services sector from London won't get reported despite Amsterdam outpacing London in equity trading.
7) Two dozen large financial services firms will move £1.3tn of assets from the UK. Nothing to do with Brexit, of course.
8) Euronext, the EU’s largest stock market operator, will move the trading data centres from Basildon to Bergamo.
9) His chums' favourite, the €90tn derivatives clearing business, will stay in London, as a handy tuck box for the wealthy.
10) The cost of living increases at 7-9% will be the clearest indicator that he has not taken back control and his geography of the north will be seen as far as Uxbridge.
11) He will exploit the shift from pandemic to endemic and use Speech Day to look as if he masterminded COVID's defeat.
12) His Latin teacher will seek reassurance that his Greek is just as bad.
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