Mustique

It's a tricky decision to have to make. Whether to stay at home or travel during the Christmas holiday? And also whether to seek sun or snow, if travelling? For 2019 we waited until the deep winter to travel to the sunshine, and the previous year we were in the Austrian snow.

This time, I think we'll stay at home throughout the season, unlike our new Prime Minister and girlfriend, who have decided to winter it out with the von Bismarks in Mustique.

I know the thinking though. Mustique is far away enough from Barbados, where Simon Cowell will be wintering away in Sandy Lanes. Mick Jagger has tried to get away from it all to his adjacent private island, but now that Cowell has access to a floating gin place, there's always the thought he could turn up unannounced.

At least Boris had the courtesy to tell Mick he'd be sunning himself nearby when he was at that alleged KGB spy and oligarch Lebedev's party after the election results came in. Champagne, triple wodkas and beluga all around.

Of course, Boris is showing the common touch with his choice of holiday spot. He's a winner now and needs to be seen in the right Phillipe Starck designed bars.

The country can run itself in his absence unimpeded by any sensible opposition. Boris has set the timer on his oven-ready solution.