spoiler alert

Yeah, well.

Now we get the dangerous clown. He's played the buffoon card and dodged with claims of schoolboy error, but behind it all, he's really quite dangerous. Let's start with his lies.

The biggest one was on that bus. He knew it was false, but he played into it anyway. Dominic Cummings might have had some of the ideas, but Boris was complicit. Then there's the minor drip feed lies. Amusing enough, banana police, bans on prawn cocktail crisps. Just enough to tip the gullible over the edge.

As Mayor of London he promised to keep TfL booking halls open (they closed) and to remove rough sleepers (they doubled).

When campaigning about Brexit, he was quick to mention Turkey as a migration threat, despite it not even being an EU member. Ironically, Turkey does have a Customs Union with the EU.

Currently, he's facing a private prosecution about the lies to the electorate during the EU referendum campaign.

He's got form for gaffes too. The road to Mandalay, Hillsborough, Letterbox, so it goes on. He can't wriggle out of all of them with a schoolboy dodge and some pidgin Latin. The formula is all about covering ignorance with self-serving wit.

The infidelities extend across his private life too, Marina Wheeler (wife 2), Allegra Mostyn-Owen (wife 1), Petronella Wyatt, Anna Fazackerley, Helen Macintyre, Carrie Symonds. No wonder he has so many properties dotted around?

Little surprise that Ashley Madison, the affairs dating site, used Boris in one of their adverts. Nor that Boris is used to handling inverted pyramids of piffle.

As the MP's lawyer told a court: “I should make it clear that ... it is absolutely denied by Mr Johnson that he acted in an improper or dishonest manner at any time.”

That's all right then.

Now we must brace ourselves for populist soundbites. It's started already. Speaking in Interlaken, Switzerland at an economic forum, Johnson is quoted saying: “We will leave the EU on October 31, deal or no deal. The way to get a good deal is to prepare for no deal. To get things done you need to be prepared to walk away.”

He also suggested Parliament could legislate to make it illegal to revoke Article 50, which he believes will focus minds in Brussels.

Look forward to a madman at the controls, democratically selected by 120,000 average age 57 mainly white middle class Conservative club members.