rashbre central

Monday, 27 May 2019

a rip in the fabric


Like the worm Ouroboros, it continues.

I watched some of the results come in and noticed that only around 38% had bothered to vote. I suppose I get it.

First, they said the vote shouldn't happen, then they were forced, so the candidates pulled together some half-hearted blankness. Now it is being declared as The Greatest Result of All Time.

Assuming that Brexit Party got around 32% of the 38%, that's 12% of the electorate who voted directly for Brexit. Let's add in the Conservative 9.1% and the UKIP 3.3% and we get to 17%. If I'm feeling kind I could round it to 20% and call it one fifth. It says a lot for democracy that only 2/5 voted and only 1/5 voted for a Brexit related theme albeit without a manifesto.

But the Westminster Tories have their 'what the people wanted' democracy mantra on repeat (instead of the racy "Can't risk it, we're out") and Farrago will bleat about betrayal. Labour will continue to ponder and pander vague competing vanity-isms.

Sad that with May's madness we've already given much of the United Kingdom away. Services - gone to Europe. Production - crashed or moving to Europe. Retail - crashed or crashing. May carries the dustbin for all of this.

Meanwhile, Westminsteros plans self-preservation even with the shaky arithmetic of the current House. Europe watches in bewilderment as the UK attempts to climb Zora Rach Nam's flaming peak. Theresa's contagious derangement is exemplified by her successors' calculatedly soft-spoken refrains of the same rhetoric.

Bravura makes the scenario distant, but sooner or later another emperor will have visited Brussels, met with the same frozen stare and returned déshabillé. It'll be time to break the glass, but only the box-of-frogs Nutters Club will support the 'managed' crash out no deal WTO WT*.

No one has solved the language problem. How to build for 'Victory' and then have to modify to 'Revoke' and 'Remain'? Time to find the hippogriff egg.

The worm will eat.

Sunday, 26 May 2019

Max Headroom was right


I wondered how long it would be before fake versions of videos of news topics would start to appear. Sleazy Mr Trump has managed the first campaigning one, with that video of Nancy Pelosi stuttering her way through an interview. "I didn't know it was fake," declaimed Trump (or some such tosh).
There's a cheerful explanation of how to do it below. The banjo accompaniment heightens the sense that it's all fine and dandy playing around with this technology.

Max Headroom would be pleased.



spoiler alert


Yeah, well.

Now we get the dangerous clown. He's played the buffoon card and dodged with claims of schoolboy error, but behind it all, he's really quite dangerous. Let's start with his lies.

The biggest one was on that bus. He knew it was false, but he played into it anyway. Dominic Cummings might have had some of the ideas, but Boris was complicit. Then there's the minor drip feed lies. Amusing enough, banana police, bans on prawn cocktail crisps. Just enough to tip the gullible over the edge.

As Mayor of London he promised to keep TfL booking halls open (they closed) and to remove rough sleepers (they doubled).

When campaigning about Brexit, he was quick to mention Turkey as a migration threat, despite it not even being an EU member. Ironically, Turkey does have a Customs Union with the EU.

Currently, he's facing a private prosecution about the lies to the electorate during the EU referendum campaign.

He's got form for gaffes too. The road to Mandalay, Hillsborough, Letterbox, so it goes on. He can't wriggle out of all of them with a schoolboy dodge and some pidgin Latin. The formula is all about covering ignorance with self-serving wit.

The infidelities extend across his private life too, Marina Wheeler (wife 2), Allegra Mostyn-Owen (wife 1), Petronella Wyatt, Anna Fazackerley, Helen Macintyre, Carrie Symonds. No wonder he has so many properties dotted around?

Little surprise that Ashley Madison, the affairs dating site, used Boris in one of their adverts. Nor that Boris is used to handling inverted pyramids of piffle.

As the MP's lawyer told a court: “I should make it clear that ... it is absolutely denied by Mr Johnson that he acted in an improper or dishonest manner at any time.”

That's all right then.

Now we must brace ourselves for populist soundbites. It's started already. Speaking in Interlaken, Switzerland at an economic forum, Johnson is quoted saying: “We will leave the EU on October 31, deal or no deal. The way to get a good deal is to prepare for no deal. To get things done you need to be prepared to walk away.”

He also suggested Parliament could legislate to make it illegal to revoke Article 50, which he believes will focus minds in Brussels.

Look forward to a madman at the controls, democratically selected by 120,000 average age 57 mainly white middle class Conservative club members.

Saturday, 25 May 2019

happy balance level up


Adjusting the happy balance.

Our hopes remain with us like a driving force day and night in both good and bad times.

Mai Keha Sadi Asha Jhinah Sadian Sukh Sabelian Nu Din Raat Nu Aoondian Hain, Kimarh Karke
ਸਾਡੀ ਹੌਸਲਾ ਸਾਡੇ ਨਾਲ ਇੱਕ ਡ੍ਰਾਇਵਿੰਗ ਬਲ ਦਿਨ ਵਾਂਗ ਰਹਿੰਦਾ ਹੈ
ਚੰਗੇ ਅਤੇ ਬੁਰੇ ਦੋਹਾਂ ਦਿਨਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਰਾਤ


There's dancing, behind movie scenes
Behind the movie scenes - Sadi Rani
She's the one that keeps the dream alive
From the morning, past the evening
Till the end of the light

Brimful of Asha on the forty-five
Well, it's a brimful of Asha on the forty-five
Brimful of Asha on the forty-five
Well, it's a brimful of Asha on the forty-five

And dancing, behind movie scenes
Behind those movie screens - Asha Bhosle
She's the one that keeps the dream alive
From the morning, past the evening
Till the end of the light

Brimful of Asha on the forty-five
Well, it's a brimful of Asha on the forty-five
Brimful of Asha on the forty-five
Well, it's a brimful of Asha on the forty-five

And singing, illuminate the main streets and the cinema aisles
We don't care about no government warning
About that promotion of the simple life
And the dams they're buildingThere's dancing
Behind movie scenes
Behind the movie scenes

Sadi rani
She's the one that keeps the dream alive
From the morning
Past the evening
To the end of the light
Brimful of asha on the 45
Well it's a brimful of asha on the 45
And dancing
Behind movie scenes
Behind those movie scenes
Asha bhosle
She's the one that keeps the dream alive
From the morning
Past the evening
To the end of the light

Friday, 24 May 2019

TRESemmé Erinyes reconstructing


Keratin smooth, the Furies are unleashed. Primordial endless jealous rage and vengeful destruction as 13 candidates are whittled to the set-piece two, so that 120,000 aloof members can make a final selection.

Cast Theresa May as Athena and there's the makings of an Oresteia. May believed she had already sweetened the pot four times and now has to deal with calculated opportunist mob action repositioning the Furies in society.

Like all good tragedies, the braying chorus of party members gives away too much control, allowing the vengeful trio to be stealthily disguised as a single mop headed entity. Even the Iliad didn't have such a plot twist.

Controlling the weather, the Furies manipulate the raining speculation, giving an impression of movement whilst the same old Withdrawal Agreement is lodged with the EU and UK steers towards the iceberg.

Wednesday, 22 May 2019

Edale


Another excuse for a quiet cup of coffee among the memories in Edale, the start of the Pennine Way. It is multiple decades since we did the walk, but the memories are still strong.

A change now is the intensity of the path, which has achieved a kind of motorway status, whereas we struggled to follow it on certain parts and can reasonably claim to have been lost on the moors, sinking into the bogs on Black Hill.

Nowadays it is all laid prettily with flagstones and gravel tracks.

This visit we'd just peer at a signpost before heading back to the south-west, but I'll raise a glass to Tom Stephenson and the others who founded this great walk along the backbone of England.

Tuesday, 21 May 2019

craftily useful and beautiful


We landed in Harewood House for a look at the Useful/Beautiful exhibition. 'Why craft matters' showcased various handmade artifacts against the backdrop of a stately home.

It reminded me of that scene in 2001 when the spaceman Kier Dullea arrives at the recreated squeaky home.

Marketing copy would be bereft without artisan crafts. But if, today, craft is used to describe architecture, beer and sausage rolls, the Harewood Biennial explores why. We can bestow strength, skill, force, cunning, magic, deceit, knowledge, science, trades, professions, boats, decorative arts and domestic hobbies with the description.

Now Harewood is a bit of a posh place, so there was a bias towards similarly upstanding craftsmanship.

Fox umbrellas, Huit jeans, that kind of thing. It made its case impeccably, for the rise of carefully produced goods, crafted from fine materials. As an exhibition, it could also be seen as a showcase, for the varied craftsman present.

Who wouldn't like a pair of hand made jeans? what about a knife hand-forged from the steel of the area? the silk-stitched bed covers were enormously attractive, even with a modern day and hard edged housing estate tale stitched into their pattern.

Conflicting then, to see Meghan Markle modelling the (grey) umbrella for a style magazine and seen wearing the £250 jeans. Aye there's the royal rub; the need for cheaper alternatives for the many others less able to select from the pages of 'how to spend it'.

Tuesday, 14 May 2019

shifting a chain reaction


A slight mishap with the bike created something of a chain reaction. I managed to break the shifter cable to the back wheel - and it was on the very messy bike too. I already had the spare cable, so it should have been an easy task but I'd miscalculated for the complexity of removing the old cable from the shifter. I looked it up on youtube from my iPhone and it explained which screw to unwind.

Boing!

All the springs and clicky things fell out of the shifter. It'll teach me to pay more attention to the picture on youtube. I can say with some certainty that it was impossible to rebuild the clicker. And the lesson: On my iPhone, it was quite difficult to see what was happening, but on a bigger screen, it was clear that the shifter was differently oriented and that I needed to unscrew the other side of the case.

One £17.00 shifter purchase later and I was back in business. The shifter actually came with a cable pre-threaded, so I didn't even need my spare. I'd saved the two pieces of external cable routing and so it was a case of threading the cable along the bicycle.

Except.

I noticed that to get the old shifter off and the new shifter onto the handlebar I'd need to dismantle the handlebar and remove the brake. Kind of Alice walking towards the castle. Fortunately, it was a straight handlebar and so the end handles just popped off, without any tape to unwind.

Then I put everything back together and looked towards the derailleur which was oily, to say the least. Now to re-index the gear changes. I'd have to put the wheel back and put it onto workbench where I could spin the wheel.

Luckily I'd bought some non-latex gloves to handle the messiness. I still managed to get the glove fingertips caught in the gears and the gloves gave a realistic sensation of oil covered hands, but magically when I removed them my hands were clean.

I'd used the back screw on the barrel adjuster to re-index and the gears were now singing.

A shame I'd managed to award myself a huge time penalty, but at least it's all working again.

And, yes, I did clean it. Pass the Swarfega.

Friday, 10 May 2019

zwift around London


I've decided to revamp the bike turbo as part of the cycling regime. I'd often mused about ways to set up a route around London which could play out on the screen, maybe using Google Maps. Tacx supports it, but the software is somewhat unreliable and crashes so that it is usually a disappointment.

Instead, I've tried Zwift, which already has a predefined London course built into it. It's not entirely the London we'd recognise, but it is a pretty good approximation. There are chunks of it where you'd look at a single frame and know where it is supposed to be, but the geography of the links can surprise with unexpected turns and twists editing out parts of the terrain. Here's the entirely recognisable Embankment (Grosvenor Road including Cycle Superhighway 8), heading towards Chelsea Bridge, with the Battersea Power station (complete with flying pig) on the other side of the Thames.

That's not forgetting the curious area around Waterloo, where you cycle into an arch around where 'The Steps' are and enter a labyrinth of tunnel systems and stairs. It's like cycling along tube platforms and then suddenly arriving in Surrey at the foot of Box Hill.

There's also time-of-day detail and weather to contend with, varying from stippled sunny days to hailstorms of rain bouncing from the pavements (like the picture at the top of the post). Here's the entrance to The Mall, in bright sunshine.

Being Zwift, the roads are busy with other cyclists too. Flags indicate where in the world they are all from, and at any time there will be around 1,000 others cycling the same roads. As for the street scenes themselves, they've closed the roads and put up Prudential Tour 100 stye barriers around the course. There's ample street furniture, with TfL bus stops, red phone boxes, Belisha beacons galore as well as new Routemaster type buses parked conveniently the other side of the barriers. There's even an old-school 15 Routemaster for the fans. I'd be picky about the shortage of pubs and that some of the shopping areas have been rendered as buildings, but that's detail.

There's plenty of camera angles available too, here's me (small dot in the centre) coming through Admiralty Arch, with the scene of Trafalgar Square in the background. You can see a Zwift runner too, and another cyclist 1 second ahead of me. And if I can get some speed on, there's several others ahead in the next 16 seconds.

I'm running Zwift on a Mac with ANT+ to TACX Bushido, and, I'll be honest, I did wonder at the point of the Zwift 'companion' application, which runs on an iPhone, but it does provide additional twitchy power meters, mapping, camera control and snapshots as well as being able to send greeting to other Zwifters. The readout against my name shows I'm using a phone, am currently cycling an interval (Orange Unicorn), have covered 14.4 miles and am putting out 2.2w/kg. The wattage is calculated by Zwift unless one has a particularly fancy turbo unit. I can also see that The Mall has a gentle slope downward (0.1%) and that even flat London has created 248 feet of elevation since I started. I've been cycling for 42:55 minutes and still have around 47:02 minutes to go to get through the intervals.

The interval training is quite clever too. The light beam arches pop up at the end of an interval and adjust to the speed of travel. Too slow and one can see them moving away into the distance, based upon how long to the end of the section. Here I am just 2 seconds from an interval end, and co-incidentally having just hit my personal goal of 62 miles per week.


Along the bottom of the screen, the extent of my exertions can be seen. I'm staying out of the red zone for this tourist circuit, as can be seen in the next screenshot approaching Buckingham Palace.

J Hernandez (who was 0.4 seconds behind) is now just disappearing off the bottom of the screen and into the 30+ second behind distance. And yes, there's 1390 more on the circuit at the moment. Indeed at certain points I'll encounter a peloton, although I'm never sure whether to join in on not. Things can get quite confusing in the middle of the pack, hence my choice of yellow chevron shirt, to attempt to stand out, purely for identification.

Unlike Zwift's Richmond, Virginia, or to a lesser extent New York Central Park, the streets are also busy with people too. There's people outside pubs (of course) and people waiting around at bus stops and at the gates to anywhere that tourists would go.If it rains, the umbrellas come out. In London the cycles include pedicabs and I even spotted a tandem. Animations include flocks of birds (pigeons? starlings?) landing on the pavement and then scattering. It's something I only notice if I pause awhile mid-circuit.

As for the circuits, there are several pre-defined ones, with options to vary the routes. The area covers Tower Bridge to Knightsbridge and sweeps in many of the well-known tourist spots (Trafalgar Square, Harrods, Buck House, Parliament, Embankment). It is possible to free-circuit around the area, or to select an interval training programme which goes around the same area, but with some purpose. There's also various events and challenges in groups or solo that do the same kind of thing.

The mileages are pretty accurate too, with a quick check between my Garmin and the Zwift readouts showing around a mile discrepancy over 20 miles of distance. Given the different way that Zwift treats hills (pedal fast and still only go at 3mph etc) then I'm thinking they've done a pretty good job. Now that Zwift is an ecosystem in its own right, there's also plenty of Strava way-points along the route, with time trials, and Personal Records galore.

I've alluded to the other circuits already; fancy the desert? Or maybe a palm tree island with a volcano to cycle around? Yep.

Wednesday, 8 May 2019

why I threw away the tawdry blue leaflet


I've received a blue-skirted election communique through the front door "Printed at no cost to the taxpayer." To stay inside the law, I wonder if the constituency paid? Anyhow, it urges me to vote conservative because they didn't want these elections. Huh? A pity they didn't have a plan then, isn't it?

It goes on to say that Theresa May is working tirelessly to pass a workable deal which takes back control of our money, laws and borders.

I don't think so.

Mrs May has been the reason Parliament and her own Government had to block the deal. It's one thing for our PM to go through a dissociative depersonalisation disorder, but quite another to drag us all in to it. Mrs May's mirror-world of terminology trundles on. Take the idea to carry the rebranded Customs Union (yes, the Customs Arrangement) into the Withdrawal Bill. Mrs May thinks this is an example of 'take back control'. Jamais-vu.

No. It gives control to the EU, without any recourse from the UK. The regulations applied by the EU will cascade to the UK and we will be obligated to follow them.

It's a lie.

Another lie, on top of the ones that were spread around the time of the Referendum.

Shame on you, Mrs May.

It would be better to stay in, to have a voice and a vote.

There's also a cynical irony in the paper. Page 2, Mrs May is quoted "parties shouldn't play politics with our future or act for personal gain." On the facing Page, Mrs May (who is supposed to be negotiating our future with Mr Corbyn) uses a fear tactic to tell latent conservatives that not voting for the conservatives will give Corbyn a boost and take him a step closer to Downing Street.

Deceitful and hypocritical.

Then on the back page, it's all about why the elections are happening, with the implication that only 2% of Labour support Brexit and 89% of Conservatives. Really?

It's a classic 'May-centric' view of the world. 'Look what they are doing to thwart my plans'

I told my nearest Tory MP I didn't want Brexit.

No reply.

He's not listening.

#revoke #remain #rebuild

Sunday, 5 May 2019

piano roll DogSpeak operated politicians


Listening to the idiocy of a straight-faced Matt Hancock and others positioning Brexit for a customs union with the EU is saddening. It has reduced Brexit to a cynical central office speech writer's self playing piano of radio sound bites capped off with 'deliver Brexit and then move on'.

Matt, you are replaying DogSpeak.

That Mrs May used to say 'take back control' and other Dominic Cummings-inspired earworms runs against the idea of a customs union. The whole point is that a Customs Union requires all its members to operate external tariffs which are identical. This means that each country of the EU must implement the common tariff even where that is contrary to its own economic and national interests. To not do so creates a weak chink in the armour of consistency and lets in the goods or services that can then flow around freely, unimpeded because the other members don't bother to check them.
So what does this mean, Matt Hancock and friends? Simply that the UK must be controlled by the EU whilst it remains in a Customs Union. It won't have a voice or a vote. Tell Mrs May that far from 'taking back control' it is 'giving control away' to a group of 27 counties who can legislate and then pass the orders to the UK on tariffs and regulations.

Bonkers.

I wonder who is writing the speeches now and what on earth they are telling the speakers? "Matt, say this, it'll increase your leadership chances"

Friday, 3 May 2019

politiquote dog speak


Like the Ladybird book of computers is used by politicians to explain technology, they have another secret weapon for talking to the electorate. I discovered it by accident when it fell out of a briefcase at the Westminster Arms pub, where I was quietly drinking a pint of Shepherd Neame.

We've all heard of dog-whistle politics, well this is a very upfront book. "How to speak Dog."

It explains everything.

The non-sequiturs and the reality bending.

The National Geographic has nailed it, and a few others have cottoned on. Simple messaging without scaryness. That's what the politicians apply to the electorate. "Tell them something resembling a fact. Add an AND and then tell them a conclusion that is a desirable outcome."

So the setting is right, we've just done that election thingy. A pretty shambolic turnout for the main parties. Conservatives minus 1,200 and Labour (instead of picking them up) are minus 80. Oops. So what would the politicians say?

I decided to try out dog speak, based upon the local elections. Theresa and Jeremy are in full swing saying the results implied that the electorate wanted (a) Brexit - just get on with it (b) a general election. Their supporters are saying that both the leaders are brave and have been dealing with a difficult situation. A quotation followed by piffle. I decide to adapt a small javascript to emulate the behavior. Here's Theresa - with a javascripted random outcome:

Eagle eyed may remember that I used to have a random phrase generator on this blog. It was the infamous Jquote and I'm lazy enough to leverage this to build the new javascript. Here's Jeremy:

It passes a dog speak test (blah blah blah, bone) although it would be fun to parameterise the degree of loopiness of the conclusion. I guess the random number seed could do that? Anyway. Here's the source code of the javascript, ready for someone to adapt to make the pretty picture outcomes. I'll call it politiquote.js

//Local Election outcome speech generator
//apologies to javascript programmers everywhere
//politicoquote.js

var Quotation=new Array()

Quotation[0] = “The people have spoken ";
Quotation[1] = “This is a meaningful signal to Parliament";
Quotation[2] = “Sanity is a golden apple with no shoelaces";
Quotation[3] = “Honesty blurts where deception sneezes";
Quotation[4] = “Trust in the vote is seldom mis-placed";
Quotation[5] = “The results were as we had expected";
Quotation[6] = “The results were better than we expected";
Quotation[7] = “Wishes are like goldfish with propellers";
Quotation[8] = “The statistical direction points toward a victory”;

var Piffle=new Array()

Piffle[1] = “The people are right again";
Piffle[2] = “the people say get on with it";
Piffle[3] = “the people want a general election";
Piffle[4] = “it is not our fault as politicians, oh, no.";
Piffle[5] = “so long as we get power your hopes will be quashed";
Piffle[6] = “just give us the power to get on with it";
Piffle[7] = “we are no better than the slime eaters of polycringe";
Piffle[8] = “we will say anything to make it sound all right";

// ======================================
var Q = Quotation.length;
var whichQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));
var whichPiffle=Math.random()*(Q-1));

function showQuotation(){document.write(Quotation[whichQuotation]);
+ “ and ”
+ showQuotation()(document.write(Piffle[whichPiffle])}
// end