i come from the land of the ice and snow

A couple of upgrades today, one of which was officially 'Involuntary'. As I flipped across to Norway, I was gently taken to one side on the way into the airport lounge.

An upgrade so that I could sit at the very front of the plane.

Then the journey, and an embarrassing book to read during the flight. I'd intended to take Norwegian Wood, but couldn't find it. Instead I found Murakami's Sputnik Sweetheart but before I'd left, the latest copy of Granta popped through the front door.

"Perfect", I thought, as I substituted the new stylish silver overprinted softcover into my densely packed rucksack for the journey.

The chap sitting adjacent to me in the spacious seats was Norwegian and had just been to the UK to visit some friends and attend a soccer match. He'd even got a tattoo of the team and its only afterwards that I'm wondering if it was one of those fake tattoos. It certainly looked realistic enough whilst we were chatting.

But it's a couple of hour flight duration and I soon ran out of things to say about Harry Redknapp and decided to move to reading my book. My new friend had a soccer programme to read.

That's when I noticed the cover of my book in more detail. Most Grantas are themed (the last one was Chicago, I think). This one displayed its theme quite conservatively under an interesting picture.

"No problem", I thought, as I curved the front cover around to make the reading choice a little less obvious.

Then the first story. Called 'The Unwriteable', it was a little like something from that Stanley Kubrick movie with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, except this was a rather explicit male-only version of just a part of the proceedings. The problem was that it felt as if certain words on every page were written extra large and in that type face called "Noticable Bold".

I got through the first article and looked at the map in the plane. We were only at Cambridge...

This was going to be a long flight.

The next story was relatively straightforward for the first 10 lines, with just the illustration to hide by curling it around like I'd done with the cover. The the full story began to unfold and the Noticable Bold was once again evident.

The next couple of stories were relatively 'plane friendly' and the Fig Tree and the Wasp was positively a good story, as was the 'The Spa'.

Of course, my colleague was occasionally looking across and chatting as we were served beers and later food, so I managed the page turning with some care to reduce any unfortunate side effects. I was doing so well until the main course arrived. The stewardess and my new friend looked at me as I fumbled the book, which fell open at...

"Empty Porn Sets" - a collection of photos.

Oh Dear. And before the ravioli.

Well, there was nothing for it but to read on after this, although the collection of illustrations by Dave Eggers probably raised a subsequent eyebrow from my adjacent soccer fan.

But I'll admit that by the time I got to 'The Blue Zoo' I decided to stop. The book was beginning to struggle as there were so many pages bent around to mask the content. I was concerned it would explode and scatter paper throughout the fuselage.

Instead I started to look out of the window, which above Norway is no bad thing.

I always marvel at the amazing scenery of Norway. Its like there's an invisible scenic field around the whole country and as you enter its airspace everything has to look extra magnificent. Douglas Adams wrote in a similar way when he referenced the crinkly bits in the Hitch-Hiker's Guide.

My personal soundtrack for the day switched to that Led Zeppelin song about 'we come from the land of the ice and snow' as I marvelled at frozen rivers and lakes and small twinkling settlements against a dramatic sunlight and distant mountains.

Then to land. To say farewell to my soccer colleague and to catch the 210km per hour train for the next part of the journey.

Now I'm in the rather pleasant hotel, which is where I received the second upgrade of the day, to a modern suite which seems to also contain its own banqueting table.

Time for some grapes.

物の哀れ mono no aware

I couldn't help but pause today to watch the cherry blossom falling. A moving emotion from the sense of ephemerality as pink blossoms formed a gentle cloud outside my window.

The Japanese write of blossom as a symbol of transience and Murukami's "Norwegian Wood" describes some of the themes - apposite for me to add to my bag as I head today to...Norway.

electro revolt blues

I didn't make the bike ride I'd planned this morning, because the alarm failed and I overslept.

The clock radio is only a few months old, but I've noticed its operating system will occasionally jam. It's done it a couple of times since I've had it, which doesn't fill me with confidence for its primary role to wake me up.

Sure, it has all manner of options but maybe the engineers got a little carried away and technological embellishment has triumphed over base functionality. It suffers from what I consider 'unnecessary moving parts' in that theres a little pop out gadget where an iPod can plug in. I remember my dismay when I unpacked it and discovered the little 'feature'.

And in an attack of the machines moment, the kitchen radio has been progressively losing its ability to receive BBC radio channels. I don't know why, but the signals seem to be getting weaker. Or maybe the amount of other frequencies crackling around are attenuating the FM channels. Anyway, this weekend, there was little to discern above a loud hiss from the one time crystal clear reception.

Oh yes, and then the electric kettle stopped working.

So part of today has been spent replacing parts of the domestic infrastructure, so that I can drink a cup of tea whilst listening to the radio.

ingesting, logging, cropping, editing, transitioning and rendering

A bright Saturday, but many household tasks to perform involving garden, groceries, laundry and similar.

In the background I've been working on some video edits in support of a project and today will set the re-rendering of the nearly complete video sequence, which is around 40Gigabytes in size although not very long in runtime.

There's over 400 cuts in the full sequence, so the workflow for the rendering needs some care. I guess it will take at least an hour of solid computer time to process into its completed high resolution format, so that we can use it on a big screen.

artist reconstruction of sandwich eating incident

My second solo al fresco dining within a few days, although this time it was a brief pause on the way back from Leamington Spa.

The first time, I was simply a little early for a meeting and had decided to walk to the edge of the River Thames, clutching a hastily purchased cheese and pickle sandwich. There was something surprisingly pleasing about this simple sandwich, the freshness of the air and watching a quiet late afternoon London world go by. In my pocket was a small camera, but I'd noticed that I'd not replaced its battery, which was quietly recharging elsewhere.

Oops.

Close by me was Grosvenor Bridge and I could hear the rumble of trains crossing and then an increasingly loud engine sound. Something was odd about it. Yes, a steam locomotive. I watched as a handsome malachite green steam locomotive slipped across the bridge towards Victoria, puffing white smoke and pulling shiny Pullman carriages.

It would have been a photo opportunity, but it's one for the head instead.

"Clan Line", it said on the side of the engine.

It looks as if Hornby make a model of it.

political bingo for the innocent smoothies

I've been watching and listening to some of the early coverage of the electioneering and already there are a few patterns emerging. Such fun to see Mr Brown at the Innocent Smoothies factory in Hammersmith today. Their choice of signage might have been unfortunate however and worse than the example from Southampton, above.

It makes me think its about time to bring out one of those bingo chart/checklists. Presenting the rashbre-o-meter of political gestures Version 0.1 - "Photo opportunities".

Using my rather unscientific initial checklist, it would seem that Gordon has a resounding initial lead, which makes me think there is a complete PhotO-Op Play Book (PoopBook) in the background.

wash-up or spin cycle?

The usually hidden turbo button on the Parliamentary system has been revealed. It looks as if the remaining bills under consideration are all to be processed within the next 2-3 days before Parliament is dissolved.

Harriet Harman can preside over this last minute spin cycle as part of the so-called wash-up process. The bills make an interesting laundry list, with the bribery bill, financial services bill, developing countries debt relief bill and the equality bill for starters.

There's plenty of others too, and it raises all sorts of questions about the time these normally take, the number of ostensibly significant bills that have not been processed and what happens when they all get bundled through in a couple of days.

The one drawing a lot of internet attention has been the digital economy bill, which has had almost a whole day to itself and is being rushed through despite extensive lobbying requesting delays for various reviews.

I can't help wondering whether this bundling of bills will really engage MPs, because of the imminent dissolution and electioneering.

Quite a laundering operation.

hopping hare

We'd decided to go for a wander in the woods as the skies changed from grey to blue and it was a way to make the most of the sunny springtime weather.

The woodland route involved creating large wooden staffs from fallen branches and striding purposefully whilst looking like extras from a hobbit movie. Inevitably we fell upon a pub and decided to sit outside in the sun.

My simple task was to buy the drinks, but whilst still choosing the ale, the others arrived inside the bar, shaking ice from their hair. Spring was being playful and the skies had again darkened whilst handfuls of hailstones bounced to the grounds.

We sipped the Hopping Hare before returning for a rather late Sunday lunch.

iPad arcade cabinets in Topeka and Cadie

A tough decision to decide the best of the April pranks for 2010, but I decided I quite liked this one, the iPad Arcade Cabinet, provided amongst a whole collection of ideas from ThinkGeek.

The also produced the star-trek breakfast cereal (Tribbles and Bits), the screaming kitchen knife (your choice of 50 sounds) and even the child friendly "tell me your secrets" bear featuring a digital recorder. The toy 2001 monolith action figure with no moving parts was accurately portrayed with its squared primes ratios of 1:4:9.

None of this could be googled yesterday afternoon though, because Google.com had renamed itself as Topeka, after the Kansas capital which renamed itself 'Google' for a while to try to persuade Google to run some development there.

And finally, a brief hat tip to one of last year's best, the Cadie Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed Intelligence Entity.

This was artificial intelligence based upon the brain of a 12 year old Japanese girl.

Note the groovy music, rainbow colours and pandas on the website. Click the icon for an explanation and to marvel at the gmail autoresponse generator.

vein based electronic cash

Hand operated Kit-Kat vending machine.


Finger vein Coca-Cola vending machine.


Sony digital camera vending machine

iTable and OhMiBod with bluetooth

I was planning to write a post about the iTable today, but I see that several other people have beaten me to it. The version we had invented heard of had iLegs as well and could be configured in various ways. Unfortunately, even the most bizarre iPrefix products have been conceptualised and the words reserved.

Instead its better to look at the progress of the iTable as a concept.

The first one was pretty basic and rather obvious.

It didn't really have a purpose other than to take up space.

Not a survivor.

Then came one that tried to pack a punch.

Large and purposeful, but could it really do much more than display different place settings on the kitchen table and maybe provide a helpful online newspaper or two?

The latest generation have screens to the very edge.

This means they can be repurposed into other devices.

The one illustrated is switched off, although it is currently configured as a grand piano.

You'll see it also has a foldaway section (the optional iFold) for storage.


But of course, striving for technological greatness continues and there will be another generation, I'm sure.

Just like the other *ahem* well-known product the OhMiBod, which attaches to an iPhone or iPod to provide musical love. Even this has evolved from the earlier versions with the so called freedom cord, to the latest generation which positively buzz with bluetooth connectivity.

BMW political car badge

The scoundrels with the roundels have done another topical advert this year.

I still remember the Rim Impulse Power from a couple of years ago, invented by Dr Hans Zoff.


And the Today programme's section about Shakespeare being French had a spurious plausibility, less so the left handed sandwiches and the WD40 aftershave, although whoever did the odour combatting miracle shirts had done a great job. For the technically minded fourwalls could be taking over from foursquare ("I remember when it only had 3 sides back in 2006 etc.")