I check into a preview of Heartbreak Hotel at The Jetty

Yesterday I tried out a new venue (to me at any rate), The Jetty, which is set along the River Thames, near North Greenwich tube, a five minute walk from the Dome.

Heartbreak Hotel is immersively set in a hotel, and after getting our check-in rooms (mine was 101), we made our way into the hotel lobby complete with bar and an area for snacks. Some of tables have telephones and it is possible to chatter to hotel staff on these house phones.

Then, at the appointed time, along with others, I was shown to my room, whose number 101 didn't escape me. Others left for another area and room 666.

Being a heartbreak hotel, we were led along a dingy corridor, before meeting an inspirational leader from A.C.H.E. who explained to us that whatever our problems were, we'd come out of the experience feeling better. I looked at the peeling wallpaper in the corridor and smiled as a second inspirationalist started talking to us from a jittery recording on a small television monitor, before about ten of us were led into one of the dimly-lit rooms.

It was one of those hotel-rooms that would do in an emergency, if you were, say, escaping from the law, or had all your money stolen. Although, it's fair to say that there were a couple of champagne flutes on one of the shelves.

And so the action started, as a couple entered the room, with the woman taking a similarly negative view of this rather over-used location. They were the first of some partly lost souls we met during the evening, whose all-too-human narratives and experiences overlapped in various ways.

I won't describe plot, except to say that I discovered we were on a sort of Möbius loop of a storyline, which played out across the various rooms we visited.

This was the first performance night for the show, and there were a few unintentionally rough edges. There was some clever atmosphere, with ghosts in the walls and a point where the connection from one room to another was via the wardrobes (although it should be said it was a simpler process than a Punchdrunk wardrobe in similar circumstances).

In some immersive productions, the audience can self select their routes around the environment. For Heartbreak Hotel, there was a predefined 'run on rails' routing from scene to scene, so once through the wardrobe, for example, there was no going back.

Oh yes, and being a hotel, with lots of bedrooms, one has to expect that there might be all manner of things occurring behind the closed doors. Oh yes. The trailer gives a few clues.

Being the preview, we witnessed a couple of glitches. In one scene a bed collapsed. Whilst dramatic, judging from the sound of breaking timber, I'm not sure that it was supposed to and the returning guest seemed to use superhuman effort to attempt to push it back together for the next version of that scene.

In another area, the sequencing stalled. We were in a large, dilapidated, communal tiled bathroom and had watched a variety of scenes including one where cocaine was chopped as two of the guests swapped remarks about their lives. Unfortunately, our extraction from this particular segment didn't occur and we watched it all again, except that the fella with the coke couldn't find it the second time causing some slightly ragged sequencing.

After the second playing of the segment (which also featured others passing through the room, including a mysterious and slightly panicked looking bell-hop), we were fast-forwarded through another distorted room, along a beach and up a stairway to what became outdoors at the end of the jetty.

Here we heard about the impact of the programme we'd been experiencing, its personal tailoring and a few words from a rebellious hotel-maid who had made it through the all of the steps.

What did I think of it? I wanted it to work, and willed it to be successful, but at the moment there are teething problems. Most of this is a matter of tightening the bolts on what I assume is still a preview.

I'll constructively mention a few things here, because it may help the production.

• The hotel-like greeting at the ticketing works well and starts the mood.
• The wind whipping against the structure of the Jetty creates a fairly unique ambience ideally suited to a Heartbreak Hotel.
• The bar area needs sorting out. Not taking cash was a strange situation, even for a heartbreak hotel. The payment card machines were also erratic, and not in a good way.
• The waiting time at the beginning could be made into more of the immersion. A few simple actions built into the pre-start could re-inforce the experience. Guests flamboyantly arriving, business with baggage, use of the phones. Some corny customer protocols like a hotel would improve this too and could ice-break the guests.
• The confidence and assertion of the minor characters leading people around needs to be stronger. The guests are intentionally confused anyway, when being marshalled into 'blocks' to be moved into rooms and this could be slicker.
• There needs to be some way to check that groups of guests don't get stranded (like we were) and effectively see the same long segment twice. Easiest is perhaps to ensure one group has entirely left before another one enters.
• Scenes need a recovery mode, so that if something goes wrong, there is a way to reset. Maybe that just comes with time and practice of the scene?
• Voice projection. Mostly this worked well, although there were a couple of times after things had apparently failed, when the voices became quiet, more as if the characters were unsure of their lines rather than as something done for dramatic effect. This can lose the energy of the production.

I realise that some of the above list could come across as negative. It's not intended to be; in the spirit of the show, as I said earlier, I'm willing it to be successful.

It takes a courage and ingenuity to try something as logistically challenging and I wish the cast, crew and staff every success as they hone this run, which lasts until August, I believe.

wristband season is upon us #mixtape @ukmixtape #edfringe

It's about time for the first set of Mixtape wristbands to be modelled.

Early indications are that they will be a sell-out, so move fast to get one!

Like all good festival items, these will be in hot demand. We'll even have a close up picture when we can find the other camera.

For now, we'll have to simply remind everyone that Mixtape will be at the Underbelly, Cowgate, throughout the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in August.

So click below to get Mixtape's unmissable tickets, including a few special offer days in the first week of the Fringe.

And in the meantime, @FollowTheCow to #mixitup with @ukmixtape at #edfringe.

Yeah.

clouds of Sils Maria

I watched The Clouds of Sils Maria a couple of weeks ago, but it somehow slipped through my blogging notes. I was reminded by a small and unexpected advertisement for the hotel used in the movie, which turned up in the Economist. Talk about niche advertising.

The movie is about an actress (played by Juliette Binoche) who is at the peak of her career. She is asked to perform a revival of a play where she'd been the young challenge Sigrid to an older woman Helena, but this time to take the role of the older woman.

In international star show-biz terms she has Kristen Stewart (from Twilight) as her phone and blackberry juggling personal assistant and they take a train to the beautiful Swiss Engadin mountains and onward to the remote Sils Maria to rehearse.

Then we get the excellent interactions between Binoche's character and Stewart and the arrival of scandal laden Chloë Grace Moretz, who is to take the role of the younger Sigrid to Binoche's Helena.

The interplay is fascinating, with dialogue that twists and could be from the play being rehearsed, or maybe it is their real-life dialogue. There's a slow cloudiness that take hold in the woven relationships.

The layers are complex, and can include Binoche playing a version of herself, then presenting as the international star, as the rehearsing actress, as well as elements of the younger Sigrid and the older Helena.

Altogether an interesting character study of Binoche's 'Maria Enders'.

As a movie, it runs quite like a mainly two and occasional three-hander play, albeit set in a luscious and sweeping backdrop of the Alps.

the many layers of puff pastry in modern football recipes

Another football scandal. I think I last wrote about FIFA alleged corruption around a year ago, when the England team booked a day return to the World Cup.

This seems to be another example of individuals exploiting the power of the organisation they represent to gain undue personal advantage. Those old Top Gear presenters struck me as a case in point and FIFA's organisation appears to be another.

I once consulted to an organisation that was based in, let's say, Germany and wholly funded by a consortium of other (non-linked) companies.

The other companies put some money into the pot for this special small but highly leveraged organisation to function.

There were enough contributors to mean that no-one really noticed their individual subscriptions, but the resultant organisation then had bucket loads of money. Unrelated but apposite, their office headquarters had a large champagne bottle advertising motif on the roof of the building. The sort that Jason Bourne hides behind in those spy movies.

This central organisation would keep its member organisations on-side by running fact-finding expeditions as a sort of industrial tourism.

That's how I became involved, doing something that I innocently thought was proper research. The organisers of the trip wanted it to be more about hospitality and it turned into a boozy trip to a New Orleans jazz festival, California and then back to New York.

All about schmooze and ensuring the ongoing funding. Something that FIFA has done well, both upstream (to get sponsor money) and downstream (to opaquely allocate its use).

Huge amounts of money flow through the central headquarters located in Switzerland, that discreet and tax-efficient country. Blatter's own nephew Phillipe is CEO of the Infront organisation which has the TV and hospitality rights to FIFA's World Cup, which must be some kind of uncanny co-incidence.

So we get the award of the 2018 World Cup to Qatar. As FIFA's own Adjudicatory Committee of the Ethics Committee Garcia report summary says, no corruption there.

Nor for the allocation to Russia in 2022. Or the prior allocation to South Africa back in 2010.

All good.

Buried in the report are various implied infractions. A few quick examples I plucked from a skim read:

• There's the handling of an Australian whistleblower. The report explains that all the evidence provided was ignored because of a leak to the press of some confidential information.
• There's also the interesting description of 'football development projects', implying money for indeterminate purposes.
• Then there's the requests made to England by some FIFA officials, later investigated in the FA's own Dingemans Report. England appeared to be trying to support some of the official requests which, in the FIFA report, puts the implied transgressions at England's doorstep rather than the FIFA officials.
• Curiously, all the bidding nations were allocated 'Low Risk' on operational matters, except two, Qatar (High Risk) and Russia (Medium Risk). Of course, these are the two that ultimately triumphed.
• The Qatar bid whistleblower was also eliminated from investigations because the voluminous documentation provided appeared contradictory in some areas. The investigation removed this whistleblower's entire evidence.

There's more examples, but as Mr Blatter has already said, he can't be aware of everything that goes on in FIFA, so maybe these points were too small to grab his attention. I suppose the alleged payment of $10m to Mr Jack Warner is one of those trifling details as well? And maybe that missing and unaccounted $150m from after the Brazil World Cup? Perhaps the list of indictments will help to clarify? The really juicy stuff starts around Page 28, paragraph 75 and onward.

The full confidential report (which the FBI are trying to get a copy of) goes on to make some concluding remarks, notably that the main challenge with corruption is to proving it.

I can't help feeling there's some aspects of what magicians call misdirection or attention direction in the report too. Notwithstanding the bid, there's the allocation of suppliers to deliver the substantial project of the actual World Cup. No need to look at any of that which will be all fine and dandy.

So finally, in bold, the report concludes that the 2018 and 2022 bids were in full compliance with the ethics committee.

That's OK then.

exploring the Transbordador Aeri del Port

Another proper tourist post today, this time exploring the Transbordador Aeri del Port. It is based at the prominent tower on the outskirts of the Barceloneta area, near to the beach.

Reaching the tower was a quick stroll from the hotel, promising a short cut route to the Montjuïc area which was right across the other side of the harbour.

Now, I'm used to London's Airway cablecar which crosses the Thames in about 7-8 minutes with a service interval of about 60 seconds between individual gondolas. It was only after getting into the queue here that I mentally processed the striking differences.

1. this cable car is a much older design built for a world fair in 1929.
2. you get to it via a slow 6 person lift.
3. There's only one cable car in each direction with around a 7 minute service interval and a 3 minute change over.

After about 45 minutes of queuing, I was at the ticketing office. Then another 20 minutes to reach the lift to the upstairs area. The tower is about the equivalent of 20 stories above ground and a couple of people in the lift were looking decidedly nervous in a Disney Tower of Terror kind of way as we ascended.

The tower's top floor revealed another line of people. I worked out we'd be the third crossing. It was actually the fourth.

And yes, there's a fine view across the harbour. It is made all the more interesting because from most of the ground level Barceloneta beach area the ships and port are hidden from view by buildings. From up high there's a greatly different view which brings together the geography of the area.

As we crossed to Montjuïc, much of Barcelona spreads out into the distance creating great panoramic views. Fortunately, I was by an open window in the cablecar and able to grab a few snaps as well.

I'd already decided to find another way back, and sure enough, the line to re-board the cablecar at the far end was at least a further 4-5 return trips long.

Instead, I opted for ice cream in the cafe, a stroll around the pretty gardens and then a saunter down the hill (it's referred to as a mountain) before heading back to the centre on foot.

I certainly enjoyed the views and adapting the visit based upon circumstance. I have a feeling that most people will only ever do the trip once, because of the waiting times.

La Sagrada Família

It wouldn't be that difficult to get the impression that this little city break is really an excuse for a beachside break. The reality is we've been able to do some proper city browsing as well.

So here's a distant view of La Sagrada Família, rising ahead of us. A spectacular Antoni Gaudi work, started in 1882 and expected to be completed around 2026, the 100 year anniversary of Gaudi's death. As Gaudi commented, "My client is not in a hurry."

The outside is filled with intricate forms, created by many artists to the original and adapted vision of Gaudi. This includes the Nativity facade, the Passion facade and the Glory facade, which was only started in 2002. There's supposed to be 18 spires, although currently only around 8 have been completed, the rest provided in a virtual sense by the ever-present tower cranes attending the construction.

Inside provides one of the most stunning cathedrals anywhere in the world, with magical lighting from the coordination of the stained glass windows and the jewelled effects on the intertwined pillars.

almost a postcard scribbled from the breakfast table

A rather late start today, finally managing to get some breakfast around midday.

The afternoon involves walking along beaches and maybe a spot of sightseeing. Pass the suntan lotion.

waiting airside

Playing around at airports today. Valet parked and waiting for the flight.

summer bicycle tyre selection

I've just had a couple of weeks with hardly any bike riding. I've mainly been around the fixie-land part of London, but, in honesty, taking the tube has been a better option for me.

This weekend I've been out a couple of times and clocked up about 50 miles, which I can feel in my legs this evening. I also know my earlier plans to sort out the summer bike have been somewhat waylaid. Sure, I managed to swap over a chain and tweak the gears on my mountain bike, but the carbon one is in need of clear attention at the moment.

The most obvious giveaway is that the tyres have become squeezable, which can't be a good sign.

Since last year, I've had two sets of wheels for the carbon bike. One set has a lightweight SRAM red cassette and thinner tyres (the ones that are currently flat). The other set have a hill-climbing cassette and my plan is to swap their tyres for something slightly wider.

It may all sound pernickety, but I think I'm doing enough miles to warrant this obsessive behaviour. I'm thinking I'll put new wider 25mm tyres on the hill-climbing wheelset and probably use it for the upcoming charity bike ride in a few weeks.

I'd better get a wiggle on, so that I've had a chance to test it before I need it.

[Spooks] The greater good

I've got a secret stash of the Spooks series. It's in a CD tin, one of those 50 CD stacks and it takes up nearly the entire tin, being all ten series. It's all digitised as well so the secret tin has recently been in a drop to another location.

Naturally I was intrigued to see the movie version of the series, which even has a prefix in its title, implying a franchise. The use of the square brackets [ ] is well judged and true to the motif.

After the original 10 TV series, critics said the series had 'run out of ideas', but for me it was still pretty strong, with the exception of a few episodic bloopers towards the end. Most viewers will know that the series didn't leave any of its main players safe. Famously they brought forward the series finale demise of one of the popular characters. She barely lasted into the second reel of the first series.

Since seeing the movie, I've already had a quick spin through early series one again and there's a story, from 2002, about governmental policy towards immigration with a fringe politician stirring up the electorate. Hmmm.

The movie stays true to its London roots and still uses the familiar areas around the South Bank which aficionados have come to love. Okay, there's some Coventry ring road and Moscow as well, but it is a movie, after all.

I won't discuss plot or any of the set-pieces here, except to say it is still a fine extended episode.

My notes would include that they have made Spook Central a bit too much like something that Jack Bauer would inhabit. Harry Pearce used to have an office with pointless downlighters and glass crystal ornaments. That seems to have gone by the wayside in the new one. But then again, Harry gets to go out to play for part of the movie.

There's a few of the old gang who pop up too, and Kit Harington playing a new guy who is already bit disengaged and a loose cannon (naturally). He even has Hoxton mun* hair styling for part of it.

mun - not yet in Scrabble dictionary - Old English for Must or New English for Man-Bun.

pirates of the ring roads

These London streets may look empty of cars, but its been a difficult day driving around and about.

A feature over the last few days is the increase in cars broken down in a middle lane. The jams build up at the rate of the traffic flow, so in Central London that's a good 4-5 miles per hour.

I know, use public transport, and I'm pretty good with tube, trains, buses and even bicycles, but it sometimes doesn't fit the route.

There's also inevitable roadworks, and an increasing tendency for motorists to use lane piracy to try to beat the queues. Classic places where this occurs are at motorway and trunk road intersections. People drive along the wrong lane and then attempt to pull into the right lane at the last moment, creating huge tailbacks as a consequence.

If it were the occasion out-of-towner that was lost, I'd accept it, but this is calculated. It slows both the lane being targeted and the adjoining one and around London adds tens of minutes at each junction where this occurs. I suppose it gives my sat-nav some fun, adding little red cars and yellow cars all over the map, to warn of jammed areas.

Mixtape sensational findings #edfringe @ukmixtape @FollowTheCow

In shock revelations today, it was discovered that not everyone knows what a "mixtape" actually is. The urban dictionary contains the usual blend of descriptions, including this one:


Revisionist descriptions also refer to the mixed music being placed onto a CD-R, somehow denying the existence of that 20th Century artefact, the C-90 cassette tape.

But don't panic, the Mixtapers are plotting hard to put things right.

Mixtape

At the Underbelly, Cowgate
6th - 30th Aug 2015, 10.20pm

Join the Mixtapers for their hilarious bitesized theatre inspired by music. Part comedy show and part music quiz.

The Mixtapers perform from themes including Number Ones, The 80s, Brit Pop, Girl Bands vs Boy Bands and Rock'n'Roll.

The rules? The sketches will only use remixed words from the song's lyrics and can be no longer than the tracks that inspired them!

Guess what songs inspired the short sketches to be in with the chance of winning the night's highly coveted Golden Mixtape.