daisy, daisy

A small discovery yesterday.

My most recently acquired PC running Windows 8.1 has been sluggish ever since I've had it. In fairness, I bought it in the trolley with the groceries and it's been on light duties so I've never really bothered to sort it out. Finally frustrated that it was so slow, I wondered what would happen if I deleted Norton 360, which is the firewall and anti-virus protection. It was up for renewal in any case.

Apart from the trauma of trying to remove Norton, the effect has been most encouraging. Subsequently, the machine has sped up dramatically, rebooting and loading programs much faster than before. Of course, none of the scientific tests and benchmarks show this, but I'll use Windows Defender now instead of Norton on that machine.

There were a few extra wrinkles to removing Norton. Simply uninstalling it didn't work. It tried to re-install itself the next time I rebooted, ironically in a manner similar to the way a virus works.

Next, I tried switching off the licence. That worked partially, although it still reinstalled itself and then when I tried to disable it, it relicenced itself using a spare licence from my Norton user account.

I searched to I find out about the Norton Extraction Tool, which does 'completely' remove Norton products. I used this and it seems to have worked, although a side effect of Norton's installation was to disable the Windows Defender product. I had to use another thing called the Windows Action Centre to re-enable Defender, but it does all seem to be working now.

I don't consider most of this to be 'friendly' behaviours for a system, and I seriously wonder how many people have the knowledge to work around all of these systems. Hardly a simple process.

where have all the flowers gone?

Last time my passport was up for renewal, I scrapped having two in parallel.

I had two because it was the only way to operate with certain countries. That and the time it takes to get visas. Even with two, I can remember having my passport couriered to the airport for one trip.

Yesterday's poppies, awful world news and a current TV drama reminded me of this. I used to travel to the middle east a fair amount, which was one of the reasons for needing the duplication. Israel and some Arab country visa stamps don't mix.

When I used to travel to Tel Aviv regularly, the edginess started from the time I entered Heathrow. I'd get challenged and intensively interviewed by Israeli security staff. My baggage would inevitably be hand searched. As a suited businessman I'm not sure how I looked extra suspicious? They often used little swabs to check my belongings for traces of misdemeanours. I'd have to switch on my PC and show them something exactly specific to my visit. I'd carry a letter showing who I'd be visiting as well. It was supposed to be good security but however polite I was, it always seemed terse and threatening. Often, Ben Gurion airport for departure would create a similar return experience.

In some Arab countries the arrival time would also be stressful. I might find myself directed into a specific line for passport, but then be held back to let an entire plane of passengers from somewhere else be processed ahead of me. Or there was that place where you had to know to get the little entry sticky stamps from a special counter before proceeding to the passport line - or else go back and do it all over again.

Probably these experiences have shaped how I've got used to being able to go into a sort of trance state in many airports, whilst always moving as far 'forward' as possible.

That TV series I mentioned is the complex 'The Honourable Woman'. The lead character is played by a very Euro-English sounding Maggie Gyllenhall. Through series-link I'm only at episode 4 and noticed the scenes portraying Israel's border requiring the big gates and guns. The same episode featured a dinner-table argument about Gaza, which ended with a punch-up.

Drama reflective of the terrible conflicts in the whole zone, writ large in current news broadcasts. So much for the exchange of land for peace. At a humanitarian level it's terrible. At a political level it's an intractable endless destructive cycle.

Another example of trance, this time with most of the world quietly wringing its hands.

Blood swept lands and seas of red

I was working along the South Bank today, but close enough to the Tower of London to cross Tower Bridge to take a look at the newly opened World War I Commemoration in the moat outside the Tower.

It is an installation with around 190,000 ceramic poppies so far and many more are being added between now and November 11, to reach the total such that there is one poppy for every British and Commonwealth soldier killed in the First World War.

Its already a sea of red, and yet it's probably only about one quarter complete at this time.

Coincidentally, I'd recently found some of the family history of my namesake relative from World War I. He was already in the Army when war was declared and had reached the rank of Lance Corporal.

As part of the British Expeditionary Forces he set sail for Le Havre on 14 August (ten days after Britain's entry to the war) and his 1st Battalion made their way along the Marne to Aisne. That's where one of the earliest bitter trench warfare battles took place at Chemin des Dames. It appeared as quiet fields on this year's Tour de France.

Not so quiet when he was killed there aged 19 in the 6th week of the war.

One of the Missing, his name is on a memorial around 200km to the north of the battlefield, in Ypres, Belgium.

Norwegian Wood moment

Yes, I'm back in London.

Like in the Lennon song, the Norwegian wood around me now is mainly pine cladding. Either that or IKEA furniture from Sweden which has been sourced from Norwegian medium density fibreboard, although, nowadays even that might come from China instead of the Nordics.

Down south, it is harder to locate direct Norwegian influences. Okay, the big tree in Traf. Square at Christmas. Maybe a very occasional Statoil filling station. Up across the border in Scotland it's different, because of all the energy sector influenced companies. Oil, gas, petrol, wind and wave farms. The names of some of the companies flash up on the rolling adverts on the Norwegian ferries, but most are not household names to the average Brit.

The lovely-to-visit Norway has a very high (a.k.a. expensive) standard of living. I've previously mentioned that a medium sized beer (less than a pint) costs about £10 and the Big Mac Index shows Norway at around $8 for the burger. Actually, we were sitting in a non-fancy cafe and I noticed the price for a basic burger was around 97Kr, which is more like £9 or about US$15. The Norwegians say they don't notice the high prices, I guess that's because they earn at a commensurate rate. During our time in Norway I suppose we just got used to knowing what to expect things to cost, suspending any 'convert to sterling' mindset. And unlike trips to the USA, I didn't need to buy an extra luggage to bring back all the goodies at the end of the trip.

The high standard of living relies upon Norway's financial reserves from exploitation of natural resources, particularly North Sea oil. Norway made a decision back in the 1960s to exert sovereign rights over the North Sea and thus captured the biggest share of the now depleted North Sea oil. It gave the country a chance to make its own path and to slimly vote to not join the European Union.

It's done pretty well, prosperously moving from farming and fisheries to the energy sector and latterly moving oil production to the Norwegian and Barents Seas.

I used to work occasionally around Stavanger, which is the on-shore oil capital of Norway, a bit like Aberdeen is in Scotland. I can't help wondering, though, whether Norway's energy and EU decision and its implications were made at a much more favourable time than Scotland now thinking about trying to go it alone? As an example Norway set up what is now a massive state pension fund to tap the surplus energy wealth against future outcomes.

Although it won't be all about energy in the Scottish debate, the economics will undoubtedly form a big part of the discussion, like tonight on the telly. I can't help wondering how many organisations have at least hit the 'pause' button over Scotland, and maybe are poised on the 'Eject' until after the vote plays out?

And I know, today's post has become a bit of a ramble through the woods, but still not the long and winding road filled with questionable statistics as we watch Scotland decide its future.

something about a car, but not exactly top gear

Today it's time to mention the French car we used whilst driving around Norway. I'm not much good at Top Gear reviews, so it won't be so much about performance and cornering, more about living with the car.

It was an almost new black car designed using "château-fort" principles, which meant it had to look aggressive and have slits instead of windows. It actually achieved that quite well, with a kind of non-visibility from much of the front area and a special bar across the rear window which blocked out other cars in the rear-view when on motorways unless they were very close.

I tried the various up and down facilities of the seat, but this didn't really help and if anything managed to block out more of the nearside vision because of the quite low and bulky front mirror assembly. At one point I managed to hide a whole ship out of view on the passenger side.

To keep up the 'repel all boarders' impression, the car also had a special button in the roof which then very slowly raised a screen in front of the driver's eye-line. This displayed a copy of the speed. I think it was supposed to be a head-up display, but with the other two speedometers immediately below it, the impression of a sightly greyed out view of part of the road didn't seem all that worthwhile.

The clever concealment of the 'lower-it-again' switch meant it took quite a while to find out how to disable it, because like many of the controls it was not quite so obvious how it worked. There may have been an operating manual in the glove box, but the control to open the glove box didn't work, so it was either locked or jammed. In château-fort terms I guess it was 'secure'.

A similar experience happened with the white noise generator, which randomly switched on during some journeys. It was a de-tuned radio but the volume control wasn't very clearly labelled and also took a while to find.

As an automatic, this car had other interesting features. Firstly, it didn't 'hold' when pulling away. A slight reverse gradient would become a drama unless the electronic parking brake was deployed. Its set of programmed sequences meant it would send impressive instructions to the dashboard about its use. Not always ideal when close parking on a gradient.

Another feature of the automatic was the special form of cruise control. Most cars I use with cruise control will allow a speed to be set and then maintain it. This car let the cruise speed drift by maybe 20kph upwards whilst flashing a warning message. A kind of 'pas' moment. J’veux pas travailler. I tried the fancy paddle override on the gearing to see if that would help the speed stay down. 'Pas. If I steadied the speed manually, the gearbox would then decide it was time to upshift again and essentially override my action.

Let's spend a moment with the sat-nav. It knew where Norway was and could give instructions in English. When I say it knew about Norway, I mean in a general sense. Oslo. Okay. Bergen? Okay. The well-travelled Peer Gynt Way? 'Chai pas. The airport at Ålesund? Make it fifth after a few other transport essentials like the Post Office.

Or.

It would just stop completely and turn itself off. Blank screen. I didn't ever find out how to switch it back on. I'd just return to the car from time to time and find it working again. A kind of temps de travail, perhaps? Oh, and the map rotated whilst driving, to always point forward. I prefer north upwards, so I can get a sense of my bearings. Could I lock north to the top? 'chpa. The option was showing, but was greyed out on the menu.

And I shouldn't forget the special key to start the car. One of those ones where you have a special button to make the car start instead of a key twist. Except once you've pressed Stop, everything stops and won't restart unless you start the engine again. On a ferry? Want to pay the conductor? Can't open the windows. Decision...start the car and alarm the man (we are at sea already) or just open the door? Next time, open the window before stopping the engine. Pay the man. Now I can't leave the car to get a coffee. The window is open.

Additionally, the key would go wrong sometimes. I'd park the car. Get out. Try to lock it. Pah. Paaaaah. It would go all sultry. I'd have to get back in. Put the key into the ignition slot. Press the start button. Press the start button again. Remove the key. Get out and try again. I guess this is part of the château-fort facilities. Make absolutely sure that the drawbridge is up.

See. I said I couldn't do a Top Gear style review. They'd focus on the 'S' button and the engine horses or wheel sizes.

I never did check whether it had a spare.

overlooked no brainers to market on tv and youtube

Time to repeat two of the rashbre social marketing principles (tm):

Everyone fast forwards through the popup ads on youtube and television.

So here, again, are a couple of points that everyone still forgets:

1: Put the message within the first three seconds. Four seconds is the point at which youtube gives you the eject button.

How many times in the first four seconds have I seen a dog running around on a bed? a playful kitten? Some bearded hipsters walking along a road with a guitar? Two women sitting in a kitchen (polite version)? BUT NO MESSAGE.

Ancient film had a two second picture preload (originally it was to do with the time that it takes for optical sound to reach the play head). Nowadays its bonkers.

Hair product adverts seem to get it, so I suppose they are worth it, if you can remember which brand the tag line actually belongs to?
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2: On television, keep a banner with the brand on screen. We all watch adverts at 30x. Even when the ads are subtly slowed by programming in the device to 6x-12x it still only gives 2-3 seconds, so you'd better have a lower thirds stripe with the message.

You'd better make the brand large too. In case it's the time for a Picture in Picture channel hop.

(Oops, this 'spare' post was automatically published)

return trip

Time to think about returning to the U.K.

I won't think of it as a stormy moment.

Just moody skies or someone draping a new power cable with orange markers across the fjord, temporarily impeding our progress before we return to the shoreline and eventually to the airport.

Time to find a beach scene at the best pre-airport lounge waiting area ever.

The difference for this beach is that it is with boots instead of bare feet. It's just before a flight, so who cares?

Okay, and maybe thirty seconds of a boat trip before we return on the 22:05, still back in London before the new day.

The wobbly sky and boat rails are not entirely a result of the mushrooms and asparagus at lunch. More a feature of the image stabilisation provided by youtube.

High speed boat from Norangsfjordby to Øye

The little boat was finally ready, so we took off at a great speed along the Norangsfjordby to Øye, this time to a small hotel at the far end, which has seen its share of celebrity action.

Famous guests include Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Keiser Wilhelm II, Queen Beatrice, Henrik Ibsen, Edvard Grieg and Karen (Out of Africa) Blixen. It was built in 1891 and retains an old-world charm. It nestles in between the mountains and just a short walk from the fjord jetty.

The rooms have modern en-suite bathroom facilities, but the rest is kept in the age of Grand Touring, so there's no telephones or televisions and a good deal of candle light. The staff are also attired for the era.

For a time in the fjords, away from the crowds and ultra-connectedness, this is the place to visit. No wonder Ibsen, Conan Doyle and Grieg paused awhile at the location.

And before we leave, we mustn't forget room seven. That's the blue one haunted with the girl who didn't get her lover.

And for more of a look around, here's one of their own new fangled cine-films.

penguins in the rain

No puffins today, it was penguins instead.

It wasn't the original plan, but when we arrived at the harbour, the guy explained that the small boat was cancelled. He didn't mention the weather, but I think it was a factor. We've been having 30 degree plus sunshine everyday, but today we've got lashings of rain.

It's okay, he said, there'll be a boat tomorrow. And good weather.

Instead, for a rainy morning, we thought we'd check out the nearby Jugendstil exhibition, which explains that after the entire wooden city of Alesund burned to the ground in 1904, it was rebuilt in stone and brick in the Art Nouveau style.

Ten thousand people lost their dwellings in one night and the city took three years to rebuild from the ground up.

The young architects built to a set of designs that created what is still a well-preserved central area in the Art Nouveau style.

By midday, there was a small break in the cloud, but it still seemed like a good idea to do something else which wouldn't get us too wet, hence the penguins, which were among the extensive line-up at the nearby aquarium.

puffin post

A combination of road, ferry, bridge, tunnel and walking to the little island of Runde.

This is known as bird island because the sheer rock cliffs are homes to many species including, notably, the puffin. The basics are that herring swim south to spawn creating huge tonnages of eggs on the sea floor. They reckon the weight of the spawn is larger than the weight of the entire Norwegian population. The number of herring means that with sensible fishing, the Norwegians could eat herring every day of the year (I know).

The miniature herring start back north right past Runde where the puffins with their young are on the lookout for food. Herring have a tough life, hunted for by many seabirds, killer whales, the puffins and man with huge trawler nets.

It gives the puffins a hard time too, because the annual quantities of herring passing by need to arrive at the right time for the puffins with their young. Too late and the young puffins don't get fed. Despite the challenges, the ams puffins will return in the same pairs to their prior year nests on the island.

We ventured high onto the cliffs, but the areas where the puffins were most visible was out of bounds because of the season, so I'll make do with the footage below:

We did see many other birds including the angular gannets diving into the water to spear their prey, but I guess the puffin wins the P.R. vote.

a serpent and some vertical farming

We hopped another small boat along the Geraingerfjord. We'd just seen the scar in the face of Valldalfjord from the battle between Saint Olav and the serpent around one thousand years ago.

The boat had its own commentary and did mention (King) Saint Olav, but the main emphasis was on farming.

The old fjord farms are a cultural monuments in Norway and some are now preserved with UNESCO world heritage status. They are located in really out of the way places down by the fjord, or high up on rock shelves. These farms would be a small patch of ground, some goats and perhaps a cow providing subsistence living. Beautiful settings but a tough lifestyle.

Farming as an industry has declined in Norway, despite the area we were in being famous for strawberries and other fruit. I looked at the sheer sides of the fjord and mused. I'm no farmer, but I thought the idea would be to get flat ground so that the livestock could stay attached? Just looking at the waterside landings, the access would then be hundreds of feet of sheer climb. Not exactly 'can you help me bring the shopping in?'

The stories told included farms requiring access by ladders with a side benefit that the ladders could be withdrawn when the tax collector paid a visit. In one case a big boulder overlooking the farm was so unstable that the farm was declared too dangerous. In another area the ground was so steep and treacherous that the children were tethered to prevent them from straying or falling. We didn't see any tethered children, although we did see tethered cattle grazing in another field.

island hopping

Today we are around Ålesund and decided to do some island hopping. The area has both fjords and sea islands.

There's plenty of travel options and we've somehow mixed bridges, tunnels and ferries together to get around.

The Norwegians have some long tunnels through the mountains, but also deep tunnels that wend their way under the sea. Some use a sort of spiral construction to get the necessary depth as they take us from one pretty area to another, and I keep hearing that Groove Armada track in my head with Patti Page singing about dreaming of salty air and quaint little villages here and there.