back of a bus?

I learned a new phrase a few days ago - 'bus wrap'. Its the technical term for what they do with London red buses now when they cover them in a large advertisement. The smaller 'taxi wrap' is the same idea.

Londoners are pretty used to being blasted with advertising from all directions and I've noticed the emergence of animation now on the sides of buses, as well as on the backs of the pedicabs (rickshaw taxis), some of which now seem to have the equivalent of flat screen televisions attached to them.


As long as the traffic advertising doesn't start to become overly distracting, like the famous 1990s advertisement around Piccadilly which created multiple minor traffic bumps the day it was first displayed.

birthday lunch

The Lanesborough today, at Hyde Park Corner, for my birthday lunch.

The Lanesborough is in high Bentley country and there were three or four parked outside when we arrived.

A piano and double bass type of occasion, with a traditional Sunday lunch, which included a splash of fizz and took several indulgent hours.

We dined in the conservatory and then wended our way through Belgravia, past Sloane Square and into Chelsea. An enjoyable day for all of us, and for me including the gift of a CD by Bat for Lashes and a signed copy of the latest Douglas Coupland novel, complete with the almost unobtainable Glove Pond, by Roger Thorpe. More of that later.

posh bangers

Saturday has been good for bringing the novel writing back towards target. I had the main story-line and the two other sections which I'd written whilst travelling during the week. I've somehow stitched them back together and the three pieces are beginnng to form the basis for the story.

I've also managed to have a few of the characters meeting in places from some of my recent travels. There's the canal-side discussions in Birmingham, action in amongst the houses of Hoxton and a scene outside the Market Porter in Southwark, although no-one actually gets to eat the posh sausages.

Its interesting to be able to base the story-line in some real and recent settings. I must admit that when I was in the Epernay bar in Birmingham the week before NaNo started, I even started to sketch a picture of the surroundings near to the window facing the canal.

Adding my original 3900, plus around 1600 in one separate piece from my flight to Nice and another 2000 waiting at the airport on the way back, plus today's exertions has got me to around 16,000 words, which is probably more or less back on track. I'm not quite ready to post an extract, but there is definitely a story forming.

not mellow

You can tell from the double yellow lines that I'm back in the 'no parking' areas of the metropolis. Its a beautiful sunny day, but I need to spend at least part of it tapping away if I'm to get anywhere near back on track with the November novel writing. I dare not even look at the word count until I have worked out what down-and-out Gerald and the mysterious Anya are doing, let alone why the Italians decided to meet in Birmingham.

I am just getting to that stage though, where the characters seem to start to want to do things by themselves, based upon the logic of their personalities. I still don't have a clue where the plot-line will lead, but if I follow the line long enough I hope the seemingly parallel tracks will blossom into a beautiful flower.

sun, stars and you?

The last few days I have had be zipping around in France and publishing even a short blog entry has been a minor challenge. I usually blog from a mac and all of the drag and droppy things make everything very quick. Using my Thinkpad means a lot more button pushing and general futzing.

But one of the interesting things during my trip was running into a good friend from Ireland who is also a blogger. We've known each other for quite a few years "in real life" and over a few glasses of drink in a noisy bar, we caught up on what each other had been doing and recounted each others' twists and turns providing advice and good counsel along the way.

And amongst it, for a while, we flipped to chatting about our respective blogs. My 'twinkly eyed' friend is something of a political blogger and describes some situations affecting the Republic of Ireland World in an attention grabbing and deliberately controversial style. Part of the challenge with the political blogs is getting the audience and I suppose just as importantly getting a debate running. We've all seen the newspaper blogs such as Grauniad or Torygraph with their extensive comment chains on the items posted.

So I described a few of the techniques the politico blogs use to increase traffic (linkfests, trackbacks etc.) and some of the pieces of technology used to track who is looking at what. I even said I'd put it into an email at some point, so I'd better do that as well. The strange thing is, I don't think either my friend or I have really chatted 'in real life' about the technology of blogging to anyone else.

We both agreed that we'd started out almost whimsically and probably both taken about a day and a half to get our initial blogs working properly (with mastheads, links etc). After that, we interact with the blogosphere but seldom run into other bloggers (okay, Facebook is slightly different - and we know some F&F (family and friends) who read our blogs), but overall there really is a separate 'world' with which we interact.

In both cases we'd also selected a non personal image for our blog presence too - for differing reasons - and this operates in a different space to our other more visible internet presences.

So, I'm wondering about the experiences of others who started out and whether they know a lot of their audience directly, or whether it really is a separate world?

Circles

From sunny warm Mediterranean back to a rather wet England with enough weather to mean we had to fly around in circles several times before we could land.

Still, the delayed take-off gave me time to think of a few 'plot points' for the NaNoWriMo writing, including some unexpected inspiration from an article in the Economist. I just need to make up 9,000 words somehow this weekend.

OTA: Wordless Wednesday

Painting of Islamic prayers in my French hotel room today

dejeuner

Someone said 'life is a minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese'.

I think mine is more of a spaghetti carbonara this week (also served up with parmesan cheese). There's a lot of interlinked threads, some tasty bits and limited 'downtime' so as I eat this lonely meal for one, it will probably be my last alone until Friday.

Every breakfast, lunch and evening is filled with various types of meetings, in this sunny area of the south of France. I shall have to take this fleeting time to admire the view from my window, before I disappear into cafe society for a few days.

fireworks

It's the Fifth of November, but I'm on my way to Nice, France.
fireworks (Its the 5th of November)

back to the plot

I'm hoping to get some serious time in on the NaNoWriMo novel writing on Sunday. So far I've only written 1,900 words and my survival instincts are telling me I need to be at around 5,000 words by the end of Sunday just to be on track. Realistically I need to be further ahead than that because I expect my time in the week will be curtailed because of my need to go to the French Riviera on business.

So Sunday (which has already started) becomes a key day in plot development. I've just looked up one of my old posts about the types of errors that evil overlords make when running spaceships, empires, hidden headquarters and so forth and think I shall need to avoid these bloopers in my novel so that if I do incorporate an evil overlord, then he or she won't be knobbled by a silly mistake. Unfortunately there's quite a long list of errors, so I'm publishing them in this little scroll box, for reference.

Evil Overlord Survival Tips

Evil Overlord Survival Tips
1 My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2 My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3 My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4 Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5 The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6 I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7 When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8 After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9 I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10 I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11 I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12 One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13 All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14 The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15 I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16 I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17 When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18 I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19 I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20 Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21 I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22 No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23 I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24 I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25 No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26 No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
27 I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28 My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29 I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30 All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31 All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32 I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33 I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34 I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35 I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36 I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37 If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38 If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39 If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40 I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41 Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42 When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43 I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44 I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45 I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46 If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
47 If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48 I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49 If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50 My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51 If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52 I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53 If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54 I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55 The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56 My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57 Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58 If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59 I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60 My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
61 If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62 I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63 Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64 I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
65 If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
66 My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67 No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68 I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69 All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70 When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71 If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72 If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
73 I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74 When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75 I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76 If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77 If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78 I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
79 If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
80 If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81 If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82 I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
83 If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84 I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85 I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
86 I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87 My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88 If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
89 After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90 I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91 I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92 If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93 If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
94 When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95 My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
96 My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97 My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
98 If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99 Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
100 Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

Thanks, Peter Anspach

a whole lotta folk

Last weekend in Birmingham, I was waiting for a few minutes in the record store near the corner of the Bullring. I spotted a 'folk' section and decided to take a look. It was all Fairport Convention, Steeleye Span and a lavish Sandy Denny boxed set, apart from a few sampler collections. Nothing wrong with these choices, but they are from about 1970. It looked like pretty much an afterthought in a low footfall part of the store.

So quite good to hear the recent release from Alison Krauss and Robert Plant (yes, they). It mixes bluegrass songstress and the ex Zeppo frontman more in the Brony-aur acoustic territory. The 'roots music' based tracks have a surprising strong bass and drum (don't worry its not hip-hop but someone has been playing with a multicompressor) as well as a fairly broad spectrum from banjo, piano, through blues, slide and some diddly folk. The musicianship and the mix create an undercurrent that is quite tense and uses both with American style country and some British folk music influences. The production is by T-Bone Burnett, and the band includes musicians such as Marc Ribot (Tom Waits guitarist, amongst others) and the drumming of Jay Bellerose.

Some may object, but what interested me was that this treatment of the numbers had been adapted into something from the 21st century. We can have folk and country but with a modern twist.
let your loss be your lesson

excess rewarded

An advantage of last night's excesses and my early start this morning for a meeting meant that I was positioned in the area around Borough Market at breakfast time. There's been a recent advertising campaign which says that a perfect Saturday in London can start with a visit to Borough Market, so what could I do but give it a try? The London streets around this area were showing the signs of autumn and the River Thames glittered with a bright sunny early November morning.

I walked along the cobbled streets past the old gaol known as the Clink and then turned towards the market, absolutely bustling with Londoners and canny tourists who have properly studied the areas to visit in London Town.

For most of the week, the market is a wholesale mainly fruit market, but at the weekends it turns into a retail market, with an emphasis on fine food products.

The whole area around the market is steeped in history starting with the market itself, which is supposed to date from Roman times. There's also Southwark Cathedral, a dock where Sir Frances Drake's sailing ship, the Golden Hind is moored. Its easy to see imagine the history of the area with the evocative angled and twisting streets in this part of London, just west of London Bridge.

As expected, and like many of the markets of London, there has been a stop/start type of existence over the centuries as a consequence of the River and traffic and congestion. Nowadays, the whole area around this part of Southwark is being overhauled and there is a busy pulse and vibe. There's also a good supply of pubs, including the Globe that was used in Bridget Jones' diary, the nearby Anchor which was used in Mission Impossible 1, various streets that formed part of the backdrop to "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and even part of Harry Potter was set in the area around the Market.