look behind you

Today I watched the pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk, which is a typical Christmas season event. Pantomimes are mainly British and have a few important conventions, which usually include:

• The principal boy ls played by a young woman;
• An older woman (dame or widow) is played by a man in women's clothing;
• There is lots of risqué double entendre, making innuendo out of perfectly innocent phrases;
• There is a great deal of audience participation, including calls of "look behind you", and "oh yes it is" or "oh no it isn't";
• There should be a song where the audience is divided at least into left and right halves, or ideally, men, women, children and usually insultingly 'poor people at the back', 'posh people upstairs' etc.
• The pantomime horse or cow is played by two actors in a single costume – one as the head and front legs, the other as the body and back legs.

Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
Be he 'live, or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

beware of the warning signs

Dave Asquith and Alex Normanton decided to get their own back on normal Briitish signage, with a few specials which they have been inserting into British life, particularly on railway trains between Brighton and London. The signs look real enough, but have some slightly unusual wordings.

Here's one of my favourites.


Thank you green fairy for showing me the way to this one.

Thursday Thirteen (V6.0)

13 instant things (V6.0) about rashbre

1. Christmas tree acquired {Check};
2. Lights retrieved from last years boxes {Check};
3. Lights tested and ready for use {Nerp};
4. New lights bought from local garden centre {Check};
5. List for Santa prepared and placed in chimney {Check};
6. Initial present buying expedition completed {Check};
7. Outdoor lights in place and flashing {Check};
8. Wrapping paper and little tags ready for wrapping frenzy {Check};
9. Food shopping list prepared for the last minute dash {Check};
10. Party music identified and loaded to iTunes {Check};
11. Beverages assembled ready for consumption {Check};
12. Cards written and posted (Check);
13. Time set aside to pause for sensible reflection {Check};

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Leanne's Thirteen!
2. Ivory Frog's Thirteen!
3. Running 2k's Thirteen!
4. Uisce's Thirteen
5. Chickadee's Thirteen!
6. Judy's Thirteen!
7. Raehan's Thirteen!

X. (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)


Get Leanne's Thursday Thirteen code here!



The purpose is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! Why not do this too? Then leave me a link as a comment or trackback and I will update my entry a link to yours, and you can continue the chain!

Tag: Thursday Thirteen

my best score is 1502

A struggling author put me on to this.

time to wear a silly hat

This morning I was being filmed for something that happens in January. Later, I headed over to the Crown for a festive lunch with a Santa hats for each of us. Yet more Crackers and bad jokes and then by late afternoon it was time to move to meet Nick for a drink and a second appearance of the silly hat.

its working

Bizarrely, the JCB song I mentioned as a long shot was number one in Virgin Records today. The power of buzz marketing. And according to their enthusiastic fan forum its number one on the BBC?

Here's my link to the original post. And here is the video.

bugged out

r
I am attempting to repel something like the above at present. Honey, lemon, paracetamol, eucalyptus all play a part.

all that jazz

To Windsor to meet Ron and Lizzy and then the others in the entrance to our Jazzy evening. We strolled into what could have been a 1930s scene and found a bar, whilst listening to a singer accompanied on piano.

After a drink we moved to the main street where dancers jived under the street lights and another band were playing, comprising double bass, drums, guitar, trombone and singer.

Later we dined, interspersed with dancers showing us a good time and the band rocking the joint. Then later we found the main dance floor where we bopped until the wee small hours.

cork

Across to Cork, Ireland where I was met by Tony, in preparation for an evening with a few friends. We drove first to the Clarion, which is a new hotel in the centre of the ever changing city. Cork seems really 'European' now, with the extra building, style of new cafes and bars and the quite cosmopolitan mix of people.

Tony and I first went to the Clarion's bar before heading on to the Long Room, where we met the others. Catherine seemed to be in charge and Mark was already experimenting with port and brandy cocktails. I decide to start more gently. Seamus is there, along with Mick, Colm and Ronan and after saying "Hi" all around we get ready to move on to the Ambassadors for dinner. By the time we arrive, Angela has already got the table arranged and we all sit together to enjoy a Chinese meal and catchup on gossip.

Much later, we leave the restaurant and rejoin the busy late night streets of Cork, in our case on the way to the tiny Hi-B bar, upstairs near to a hairdressers and hardly announced except for a well worn mosaic floor square at the entrance. The bar is packed, we start off standing and eventually squish ourselves together around a tiny table to finish the evening. In the morning, I will be on the first plane back to London; in just a few hours.

crackers

I forgot that Christmas Crackers are a particularly British thing. The brightly decorated tube shaped cracker is placed on the table at dinner parties. Two people pull the ends and it explodes. Out falls a small gift such as a bottle opener, set of screwdrivers, fortune teller fish, miniature pack of playing cards or thimble. Also inside is the paper hat and a small slip of paper, on which is a joke or motto.

Here are some examples of typical Cracker humour:

What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.

Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper

How do snowmen get around?
On their icicle!!

Customer: Waiter! Waiter! What's wrong with this fish?
Waiter: Long time, no sea

Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?
Because your teeth chatter

How do cows subtract?
With a cow-culator

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her class was too bright

What is your favourite Cracker joke?

canary

Met John in Canary Wharf, where we headed to a nearby Starbucks, one of hundreds in London and around 4 in Canary Wharf.

We could sit in an underground area between buildings, sip coffee and watch the world go by. Then to a very high building before driving back to Waterloo, from where I caught a train to Woking.

Thursday Thirteen (V5.0)

13 instant things (V5.0) about rashbre

1. This is the earliest on a Thursday that I have ever done Thursday Thirteen;
2. I pulled my first Christmas Cracker this week;
3. I've found the outdoor lights and draped them across some bushes and a tree;
4. I have planned to start Christmas shopping on Monday. I know its late, but there won't be so many people around;
5. I'm planning a video short to include in my January visit to Barcelona;
6. I have been meaning to hire a car for my upcoming trip to the USA for about a week;
7. I ordered a replacement Sky box for the broken one, but was out today when UPS tried to deliver it;
8. I'm visiting Canary Wharf tomorrow and will take my camera;
9. Tomorrow evening I will be part of a surprise party for someone leaving the UK to return to the USA;
10. Friday I plan a trip to the Republic of Ireland, to Cork, to meet Tony, Mark and the gang;
11. is still my favourite number;
12. I have received some Christmas cards, but around half have come from unexpected sources;
13. I plan to write my cards to everyone on Sunday;

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Leanne's Thirteen!
2. Raehan's Thirteen!
3. Colleen's Thirteen!
4. Carnealian's Thirteen!
5. Jen's Thirteen!
6. Shelli's Thirteen!
7. Barbara's Thirteen!
8. Enigma Chaos's Thirteen!
9. Angel's Thirteen!
10. Running2K's Thirteen!
11. D's Thirteen!
12. Jenny's Thirteen!
13. uzi's Thirteen!
X. (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)


Get Leanne's Thursday Thirteen code here!



The purpose is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! Why not do this too? Then leave me a link as a comment or trackback and I will update my entry a link to yours, and you can continue the chain!

Tag: Thursday Thirteen