Thursday, 26 February 2009

security lapse at TNSTNO

There was a brief security lapse this afternoon at The Nearby Shop That Never Opens. The gruff looking dog logo is emblematic of this retailer, which we have decided is a front for something altogether more sinister.

The shop isn't open in the morning or evening although it will sometimes have lights on inside, provoking us to wonder what they do in there. Today, I arrived back at the Temporary Apartment at an unexpected time and noticed a significant number of shadowy figures inside the shop.

Sure enough, they had accidentally broken protocol and left one of the doors unlocked so that a group of customers had rushed inside.

But the shop owners are good. True professionals, they were determined to prevent sales if at all possible.

Their plan was simple: tip cardboard boxes of random items onto the shelves, without labelling or pricing.

This went well beyond usual clever retailing (the virtuous household purchase next to the beer etc.) Pencil sharpeners next to washing up liquid and bars of apricot creme wafer biscuits. A television aerial and a selection of festive neon cup-cakes surrounded by a display of differing thickness clothes lines. Two six metre racks of brown and blue cardboard boxes containing wooden parrots and self assembly stacking tables.

But we all walked around excitedly trying to find things to put into the bright yellow baskets. It was too much of an occasion to be missed. The person in front of me bought milk, an eggcup shaped like a small elephant and a toy telephone. I couldn't resist the plum flavoured chocolate frogs.

Later this afternoon I noticed that TNSTNO was again in darkness. Maybe they are awaiting a fresh delivery of goldfish shaped flashlights.

sent from a handheld device

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