rashbre central: Govester gets slippy with LorryPark One.

Tuesday, 14 July 2020

Govester gets slippy with LorryPark One.

Just before all the lockdown hoo-hah, I visited one of George Orwell's boozers, in Canonbury Lane. The Four Sisters, which was just along from where he lived for a while.

George famously wrote about Airstrip One, which was the name he gave to the UK after it had been adapted into Oceania.

The Govester has decided that Airstrip One sounds too energy-consuming, and wants to go for a greener-credentialled Lorry-Park One. Well, I say one, but I think he wants 40 of the things, with 12 larger ones to include the 120 acre Ashford site. I see what Gove meant about no new controls at the borders now; instead they are tucked away 20 or so miles inland.

The drivers can sit in government-provided comfort to read the simple new 200 page customs instructions

Is this what he means by 'taking back control'?

I know he fancies himself as a bit of a smooth talker and the lies drift effortlessly as he explains whatever wheeze Dommy and the masked Bozza have just dreamt up.

Ashford will be a masterpiece, explains the Lanc-ster, capable of holding 100,000 lorries. One could think of them as 100,000 lorries full of delayed goods, or 5.6 Million cubic metres of delayed goods. If you add together all the shelf space in the 479 Tesco superstores, it works out to around 1.3 Million square metres. Arguably a comparable size. (5M-7M cubic metres?)

Well, that's one of the lorry parks accounted for.

Nice going, slippy.

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