I wonder if the Queen could ask Gordon to call for an Autumn General Election?
Just to tidy up the loose ends around the politicians currently needing more time with their accountants.
And maybe to fill some of those gaps from untimely resignations?
Would it be a populist request, or seen as something from a parliamentary monarchist system?
Whose side would you be on?
Back in 1381, when the peasants were revolting and marched on the Tower of London, you'd need to know.
Take the Tower of London test to find out.
1. What do you usually wear?
a. A steel helmet, heavy duty body armour and stout boots.
b. An exquisite bespoke outfit made by the finest French tailors in silk and velvet.
c. An exquisite bespoke outfit made by the finest Italian tailors in silk and velvet.
2. And for a special occasion?
A. Full metal jacket, gauntlets, mail collar, steel helmet, weapons, cross of St George.
B. An outrageously stunning creation fresh from the Paris catwalk, damask with ermine accents, shoes with pointed toes so long you trip over them.
C. Purple robes, white alb, red and gold girdle with matching chasuble, Mitre and Crosier.
D. Rags (plus a steel helmet, long bow and a pole arm).
3. A Beard is:
A. Bound to get caught in your armour.
B. This season’s must have fashion accessory, worn forked, with a long moustache.
C. Not as good as the old fashioned clean shaven look (including top of head).
D. A symbol of oppression. How much are these beards costing us? I bet they are all false.
4. Your ideal holiday would be:
A. A booze cruise to Calais, with plenty of action.
B. A summer relaxing on your estate in the Dordogne.
C. A Pilgrimage to Canterbury.
5. This new Poll Tax is:
A. Hard on your pay packet, but someone has to pay for the army. Perhaps the rich should pay more.
B. An excellent idea. Everyone should pay the same. You can’t get fairer than that.
C. An excellent idea, but don’t forget to put a little extra in the collection plate on Sunday.
D. An unjust oppression of the poorest in society. Make the rich pay more.
6. The Savoy is:
A. A palace in the West end. Totally indefensible. Civilians should make for the Tower if they value their lives.
B. A charming place just off the Strand where you can get a bite to eat in polite company (once it reopens).
C. A palace named after the Savoy family, one of whom was the Archbishop of Canterbury.
D. A hated symbol of oppression, home of the king’s wicked uncle, John of Gaunt. Burn it down!
7. When dealing with foreign tourists do you...?
A. Speak to them in English, but much more loudly.
B. Speak to them in French, the international language of culture.
C. Speak to them in Latin, the international language of scholarship and religion.
D. String them up. It’s the only language they understand.
8. You are visiting the Royal apartments at the Tower when you hear rioting outside. Do you...?
A. Grab your weapon.
B. Grab your hat. Your outfit needs an accessory.
C. Grab a crucifix.
D. Grab anything you can lay your hands on.
9. You find a splendidly bejewelled cup. Do you...?
A. Guard it.
B. Admire the workmanship.
C. Bless it.
D. Steal it.
10. When introduced to the king’s mother do you...?
A. Salute, and call her ma’am if she speaks to you.
B. Drop your deepest bow or curtsey, kiss her hand if she offers it and wait for her to speak first.
C. Expect her to curtsey to you.
D. Jump up and down on her bed and ask her for a kiss.
11. Finally, when Adam delved and Eve span, who was then the gentleman?
A. Adam, obviously.
B. A true gentleman would naturally recognise good breeding.
C. Ask your parish priest to look it up in his Latin Bible. Clue, it’s near the start.
D. No-one. We were all born equal!
How did you do?
Mostly As: Welcome to the Fortress, soldier! The Tower of London needs bold recruits like you to defend its walls and towers against attackers. Help shoot our siege engines this summer!
Mostly Bs: Obviously destined for a life among the knights and ladies of the Royal Court. You might enjoy a visit to the Medieval Palace at the Tower of London. Or come and cheer your champions at the Tournament this summer.
Mostly Cs. A career in the Medieval church awaits! We do have two Chapels Royal here at the Tower. But beware, churchmen have not always had it easy here. In the White Tower, you can find out more about our first prisoner, the Bishop of Durham.
Mostly Ds: You are one of life’s peasants, and proud of it! While lords and knights have tried to take the Tower and failed, it was the peasants who actually broke into the most secure place in the kingdom. Come and see the Tower of London's new display about the Peasants’ Revolt of 1381.