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Tuesday, 3 March 2009

i discover the shop has an intrinsic field subtractor

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Laying here in the Temporary Apartment, I'd almost decided that it was time to stop writing about The Nearby Shop That Never Opens.

That was before I realized the awful truth. I think the shop has some sort of intrinsic field subtractor playing with reality.

Here's today's example. I walked to the shop and examined the doors.

Lights off at peak time, all closed, so no surprises.

But what was strange was that behind the glass of the doors I could see new boxes upon boxes of pristine brightly coloured flowers. Tulips, daffodils and similar varieties. The kind that people would want to buy and put into Temporary Apartments. These flowers were completely blocking the doors making it even more difficult to get in.

Of course, the shop was still closed in any case.

And then, as I was about to walk away, I nearly froze in my tracks.

I'd inadvertently glanced towards the corner where I'd originally discovered the chocolate frogs. I didn't previously explain, but there were industrial quantities of these shiny frogs in boxes piled to the ceiling. Different brands and different flavours. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, liqueurs and fruit fillings. An impossibly inedible large quantity.

But this is the strange part. In two or three days, they have all gone. Who consumes such quantities of chocolate frog? What demographic? How can there be such a quantity of purchases from a store which is mainly closed?

It makes no sense unless an alien force is at work.

I will wait until tomorrow to see whether an intrinsic field subtractor has similarly affected the tulips.

sent from a handheld device

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